When will he propose?

Emzak~ I don't know when we're getting married. IF we're getting married. What's really confusing, is we keep talking about our wedding and what we want and our future, and he's looking into doing his PhD at Univ. of Tenn. So we can be near my family. BUT... he hasn't asked me to marry him yet!!!
It's really all very frustrating sometimes.
If he does, we're looking at late summer or fall of 2007, after we both finish our Master's Degrees. (and I turn 30 on 13 Aug. 2007)

Emzak~ I don't know when we're getting married. IF we're getting married. What's really confusing, is we keep talking about our wedding and what we want and our future, and he's looking into doing his PhD at Univ. of Tenn. So we can be near my family. BUT... he hasn't asked me to marry him yet!!!

Yup, you guys are definitely getting married. Not to worry! :D

My husband did the EXACT same thing. He'd go on and on about us moving to a new neighborhood together, getting a new house, having a baby, etc. BUT HE STILL HAD NOT PROPOSED YET!!! It drove me crazy.

Finally, he admitted that he was dragging his feet because he "didn't know how to do it" (i.e. buy a ring and propose). I was dumbfounded. I think I said something like "What d'ya mean you don't know how--you've done this once before already!"

Anyway, it turns out that the last time he proposed to his ex-wife, she HATED the engagement ring he picked out and dragged him back to the store so she can pick out her own. Also, he said she kinda backed him into a corner and he didn't want to get married in the first place. And now he's looking at rings and he was getting confused with all the different shapes, settings, etc. etc. that he was getting completely overwhelmed and flipping out as a result. :D

I bet Shane is going through the same thing!

brian and i talked about it a lot before he was ready too.


he never formally proposed EVER. we still don't quite know how we managed to set the date.... and pull off the wedding...

sometimes it just happens.

We talk about it all the time too...

And I know it's just a matter of somethings finalizing.

I've already picked out my ring. *GRIN*

But I definately agree...sometimes guys freak themselves out. Alec definately is probably freaked....His ex and him just decided to get married one night at dinner...no proposal...nothing.

I told him that now he gets a chance to do it right! :D

Nadine.

:) Well, Litical and I talk about it all the time, as well. Well, not all the time.. but a lot. LOL. He can take as long as he wants. I'm not in an uber hurry. All he needs to know if a) I don't care what the ring looks like/is, so long as its from him and its a ring and b) he asks in an official capacity in a romantic way.

I got shafted on 1 and 2, and no ring. :( NOT going there again.

Hell, I'd live in sin with him forever if that's what he wanted. ;) Not that *I* think its a sin, but you know... *ahem* Catholic parents. LOL.

~phos

My OM talked about getting married and our future together after we'd been together about 2 months. He just didnt want to get burned again, something about 3 failed marriages tends to make ya question doing it again. Plus, he never picked out rings for the others (one was already pregnant and it was kind of a get-married-before-the-baby-comes situation without a whole lot of forethough, the others didnt like his taste in jewelry), so he wasnt sure where to even begin looking.

As far as proposals, his was pretty unique and since he had spent so much time talking about us getting married, I wasnt entirely sure it was a proposal at first. We were argueing and I have a bad habit of just walking away when I cant seem to get my point across. To keep me from leaving he was sitting on my legs, and just said "do you want to marry me or not."

To keep me from leaving he was sitting on my legs, and just said "do you want to marry me or not."

LOL that's funny! :D

Hell, I'd live in sin with him forever if that's what he wanted. ;) Not that *I* think its a sin, but you know... *ahem* Catholic parents. LOL.

~phos

Oh man...have your parents been talking to my parents?

I hate that crap.

Nadine.

PS. I would just like to add...that the things that needed finalizing....came in the mail today and are finalized!!! :D

PS. I would just like to add...that the things that needed finalizing....came in the mail today and are finalized!!! :D

Congratulations!!!

Congrats!

My things that need finalizing won't be finalized until 3/31... unless, of course, something ELSE goes wrong. :rolleyes: $#@*$@!(@

~phos

You can't propose when you're not in a permanent place and your girlfriend lives 5 1/2 hours away, god damnit.

:confused: Why not? Just think.... long engagement.

:D

~phos

Well, we're not going to look at rings next weekend for nothing. But it still sucks cause we can't live together for awhile.

:eek: I don't understand that whole we're going to look at rings... Isn't the whole ring giving thing supposed to a) be a surprise and b) be a gift?

I know I'm kind of a nut, but I think a guy should ALWAYS have carte blanche on choosing the engagement ring. The ring he thinks would be best for HER. And any woman who acted offended or didn't like it... well, that's just plainly NOT the right woman! :eek: For him.

And if you're not sure of yourself, you take along a best friend, sister or mom or someone whose opinion you do value to help you. I'd never want to know in advance. But, that's just me and I KNOW I am weird. I can understand going about bizarre ways to find out her ring size... but other than that, it just weirds me out the whole "oh we're ring shopping" thing.

~phossy

PS. I'm just an opinionated bitch tho, so ignore me. ;) Cudo's and good luck with the whole asking in the future thing. :D

:eek: I don't understand that whole we're going to look at rings... Isn't the whole ring giving thing supposed to a) be a surprise and b) be a gift?

I know I'm kind of a nut, but I think a guy should ALWAYS have carte blanche on choosing the engagement ring. The ring he thinks would be best for HER. And any woman who acted offended or didn't like it... well, that's just plainly NOT the right woman! :eek: For him.

And if you're not sure of yourself, you take along a best friend, sister or mom or someone whose opinion you do value to help you. I'd never want to know in advance. But, that's just me and I KNOW I am weird. I can understand going about bizarre ways to find out her ring size... but other than that, it just weirds me out the whole "oh we're ring shopping" thing.

~phossy

PS. I'm just an opinionated bitch tho, so ignore me. ;) Cudo's and good luck with the whole asking in the future thing. :D

I think somedude said they're NOT going to look at rings next week.

Well, we're not going to look at rings next weekend for nothing. But it still sucks cause we can't live together for awhile.

Nope... he said "we're not going to look at rings... for nothing"

Nope... he said "we're not going to look at rings... for nothing"


haha thats what i get for not finishing sentences. :)

We looked once... over a year ago... just so that he would know what I like... it was more for fun... and it's not like a proposal immediately followed!

Hehehhee... I'd just much rather be surprised. If it doesn't fit, I can get it sized. No biggie. I KNOW I'm weird.

~phos

I would LOVE to be surprised... but I don't think surprises are possible with my boyfriend. He can't keep ANYTHING from me!! Even when he tries, I am on to him. (which, i'll admit, isn't always a bad thing...)

I'm the same way as Phos with rings. I want him to pick one out that he likes, maybe I'm old-fashioned that way. But, I want to wear the ring that he picks out for me.

Mind you....I've never gotten to this point with a guy.

Unless it's a family heirloom than the woman should have SOME say in the ring. Some men just don't know jewlery, as much as they love their women they are incapapble of picking out a decent ring on their own. There have been a couple of times when we're in the mall that Shane will take me into jewlery stores and litteraly TAKE NOTES on what I like and what I don't like. He also had me "sized". I told I'm fairly simple, yellow gold (sorry, platnium looks like silver to me!) Princess cut (or teardrop) solitaire, and if he REALLY wants to splurge Peridot baguettes on each side of the dimond (we were both born in August, so Peridot is our birthstone) but the baugettes are not nessecary, I know he's strapped for cash.
Besides, do men really surprise us by proposing? I've gotten the distinct impression that there is usually some talk, negotiations if you will, that happens before he proposes and most women know that the question is comming.
Besides this is such a HUGE event, shouldn't we have some say in how it happens?

I reallllllly don't care much about the ring... the size of the diamond, the price... but i will say my boyfriend knows NOTHING about jewelry.

All I told him is that I don't like yellow gold and i don't want more than one stone. IF he was interested in this kind of information.

And this information didn't come out until about a year and a half into our relationship.

Unless it's a family heirloom than the woman should have SOME say in the ring.

I guess this is where I will disagree. A GIFT is something you are given, which is thought about by the giver... chosen by the giver, not the recipient. I don't like to tell people what to get me for Christmas or my birthday. I might drop hints that I like this or that, but I don't want money and I don't want to take my man shopping and say, "I want this, or this, or that." I just see it as greedy. :eek:

Litical and I have talked about getting married, but it's not like I really see it as anything but an "IF" and/or maybe a "when." I most assuredly WILL be surprised IF or WHEN he decides to propose.. he may not. But, I would never want to take away from him the decision to choose what he wants to get ME.

And to be honest, if he knows me well, he knows my likes and dislikes just by seeing what jewelry I already wear (very little... and its always very simple). And if I loved a man who had BAD taste, hon.. I'd STILL want him to choose. And everytime I looked at that gaudy bauble, it would be a reminder of the fact that I love a man with HORRIBLE taste, but he chose me and I chose him!! ROFLAO. And that would be much more endearing to me.

If I wanted to marry myself, I'd just go buy my own damn ring. :eek:

~phos, still an opinionated bitch

If I wanted to marry myself, I'd just go buy my own damn ring. :eek:



we've been close to doing this...

Well...yall can hate all you want...cuz I've got my ring picked out.

Here's why.

I'm a picky bitch. *grin*

I don't wear a lot of jewelery. (a watch and my anklet is it)

Alec has NO clue about jewelery.

It's easier for me to point out what I like.

Did I mention that I'm picky?

That being said...sure it's great for it to be a surprise...and I understand the whole gift idea. But if I'mma wear it and love it for the rest of my life...I want it to be special to me.

In fact...the ring I've picked out is very non-traditional...something I'll love to wear...rather than something I have to remind myself to wear.

Here's a pic. Yes...it's a James Avery peice. I told yall I love me some James Avery.

http://secure.jamesavery.com/view_jewelry/images/R-938ABT.jpg

Beautiful ain't it?! :D

Nadine.

Aye... it is. But won't that stone snag in your pockets and on panty hose?

~phos ducks and runs for cover

Aye... it is. But won't that stone snag in your pockets and on panty hose?

~phos ducks and runs for cover

LOL...probably.

But a diamond would do the same thing...wouldn't it?

At least the stone is rounded...lol! :D

Honestly..I have no idea...i don't wear rings and will probably snag on everything until I get used to it. :D

Nadine.

Well, I'm not particularly picky. I'd much rather have the surprise...but I'm funny that way...I actively avoid finding out what people get me as gifts, instead of trying to peek.

Also, I do think, like Phos said, that my BF if and when it does get to that point, would have a pretty good idea. Actually, now that I think of it, we have already talked about jewelry a bit. I don't wear any, except a bracelet I bought in Mexico. Anyhow, we've talked about buying used stuff instead of new (I have issues with mining), and have flipped through flyers in the newspaper together, talking about what's nice and what's not. So, I think that just over time, he'd get an idea of what I would like. And, like Phos said, if he did get me something awful, I'd love it anyhow because he gave it to me. But, all this said, I really don't care much for jewelry anyhow - I'd be wearing it because of it's significance, not because I like the piece (I've never been interested in jewelry).

But, for someone who actually cares about what jewelry they wear, yup, I can definately see why you'd want some say in it, or at least want to make sure that it will be something that you'll like.

Here's the dealio...

Naya isn't big on jewelry, which I love. We got to talking about rings and she said she doesn't like the traditional engagement rings. She doesn't want a ring with a diamond mounted on it. She'd rather have a different style. So we looked at some online and decided it would be fun to go look at some so I can get an idea of what she likes.

Neither of us are too normal, so her not having a normal engagement ring is way cool to me.

One thing tho, I will not buy her a ring I don't like. Not for something like this. So I think it's something we have to look into together.

I wish like hell I didn't have to wear one. Not so I can look unmarried but cause I hate hate hate jewelry.

I don't even look at rings on people to see if they're married. Is that odd?

SomeDude...what about just not wearing the ring?

Neither of my parents wear their rings. They work with their hands alot and their rings would have been destroyed long ago if they wore them.

I kinda feel the same way - I have a hard time wearing rings because they feel funny to me. And I have skinny fingers with big knuckles, so rings always feel too loose and bug me. I'd wear it though - I'm too much of a sappy romantic :o .

I'll try to wear it, but if it bugs me there's no way I could always wear it. Maybe I'll find out later if I can stand wearing it.

If we get married, my boyfriend has said he doesn't want to wear his wedding band... I told him he BETTER--- and he said more women will be all over him WITH a wedding band than WITHOUT one.

But, all this said, I really don't care much for jewelry anyhow - I'd be wearing it because of it's significance, not because I like the piece (I've never been interested in jewelry)
But, for someone who actually cares about what jewelry they wear, yup, I can definately see why you'd want some say in it, or at least want to make sure that it will be something that you'll like.
I feel that way about my rings. My hubby had me go with him to pick them out, but I tried to really make sure it was his decision, and I'm really happy to know what I wear is what he wanted to give to me. I'm not much of a jewelry person, I only wear a necklace he gave me for christmas and a anklet he gave me in jamaica, so I really wear the ring for the significance. Personally, I dont think its right to care very much what a wedding band looks like. For me, the ring isnt about appearance, its about reminding me of the fantastic guy I love who for some reason loves me to.
Just my opinion.

There are a lot of dirty sluts out there who go after married men, lol.

Townhouse.

*splutters coffee on keyboard*

Hehe Somedude, you've got some wicked humour. :D

Ok, this just ticks me off though, that some women actively pursue married men. Bleh, I hate seeing women goo over my BF as it is.... I'm glad he seems to be completely unaware of it though. How screwed up would you have to be to want to chase someone else's husband!?

I'm old-fashioned like Phossy and Cabin. I pretty much forced Hubby to pick out the ring on his own, though he did ask me for some basic guidelines (cut, material, etc.)

Bottom line is even if I didn't like what he picked 100%, it would still be ten times more meaningful to me than something that's "perfect" because HE was the one who chose it for me. To me, the symbolism is more important than getting a "perfect" ring. That said, thank god what he picked out is gorgeous and perfect for me! :D

When I was planning our wedding, I was on several bride/wedding forums and you wouldn't BELIEVE how cruel some of the women were, saying that they hate their engagement ring because it's "ugly" and the diamond is too small. :confused: And the others would ENCOURAGE them to tell their fiances to take the ring back to the store and exchange it! To me, that just ruins the whole spirit of what the ring MEANS. :(

Thank you! :eek: My point EXACTLY, Emzak. I've known people like that and that just upsets me!

I'm a total minimalist... I prefer not to wear any jewelry. I wore my wedding band when I was married because of the symbol it entailed, not as any kind of status symbol.

Litical and I talked months back about how we both kinda liked the idea of worry rings. LOL. You know, the ring inside the ring that turns? Very simple, small, nothing protruding to get caught on stuff, but we could just turn them with our thumb when we're thinking of eachother. :D I thought that was a really lovely idea. Worry rings are cool.

~phos

Bottom line is even if I didn't like what he picked 100%, it would still be ten times more meaningful to me than something that's "perfect" because HE was the one who chose it for me. To me, the symbolism is more important than getting a "perfect" ring. :(

I totally agree. Not that my OM is going to propose anytime soon, we have only been together 5 months. I do want to marry him and I think he does too, before christmas he asked me my ring size, but I'm not expecting anything.

We both know we want to get married some day (this being the 3rd time for him, first for me) but we havent talked much about it. So if he askes anytime in the near future it will be a total surprise and I cant wait. He's the very romantic type and I'm sure it will be great when it happens. Plus, about the ring, he has amazing taste in jewelry.

On christmas he bought me white gold earrings with 3 loops and then 2 loops inside of those loops with diamonds in a horseshoe shape on the bottom of the loops, it was beautiful. ALSO, he got me 1/2 ct k. diamond on white gold chain. So, I'm not worried what the ring will look like. I'm kind of excited, but at the same time have no clue when its coming. He proposed to his ex after only 6 - 9 months of dating so it could be soon. Then again, he may not want to be the ideal character for "fools rush in."

When I was planning our wedding, I was on several bride/wedding forums and you wouldn't BELIEVE how cruel some of the women were, saying that they hate their engagement ring because it's "ugly" and the diamond is too small. :confused: And the others would ENCOURAGE them to tell their fiances to take the ring back to the store and exchange it! To me, that just ruins the whole spirit of what the ring MEANS. :(

Yes...I have a ring picked out....that of course doesn't mean Alec will listen to me.

Trust me...anything he decides...will be hunky dory to me...I totally understand that the sentiment behind it is way more important than the actual ring. *grin*

Nadine.

I can't believe some of the women out there. Take the ring back, because the stone is too small??
Shane almost proposed one day about 3 months ago when I said (just in idle conversation) that an engagement ring doesn't nessecarily HAVE to be a diamond! Sure diamonds are nice, and pretty, and the hardest naturally occuring substance, BUT... an engagement ring (and wedding rings) should be a symbol of love between two people. Honestly, I'd be perfectly happy with two Peridot stones. Peridot is our birthstone (we were both born in August, 23 years and 10 days apart!)
and the two stones are a symbol of US, which is what a marriage is supposed to be about.
Besides, I don't want a man who is going to go into debt to buy me pretty things that I can live without. I want a man who is going to stick by me and be my partner and someone who will take care of me, someone I can take care of (cause it goes both ways) and somebody who will help me instill GOOD ethics, morals and values in our future children.
That's what marriage is a partnership between two people. NOT about a ring or a dress or a day.

Oh yeah... when it comes time to get married, were eloping!
Again I'd rather take the $20K that most American's spend on a wedding (it just ONE day!) and put it towards something constructive, like the down payment on a HOME!

my engagement ring is my birthstone. it's what i wanted. i have a perfect blue-white 1.10 caret diamond that was my mothers... why would he want to comptete with that.

On christmas he bought me white gold earrings with 3 loops and then 2 loops inside of those loops with diamonds in a horseshoe shape on the bottom of the loops, it was beautiful. ALSO, he got me 1/2 ct k. diamond on white gold chain.

Wow, that sounds really nice! I'm jealous. :D