how do you feel about eloping?

Shane and I are considering eloping. It probably won't be in Vegas though.
What are your thoughts? concerns? opinions? ideas?
Ideas would be appriciated!!
It all comes down to the fact that we can't justify going into debt for one evening!

Naya and I have been talking about this type of thing lately. Neither of us want a big wedding, especially me. I just want to do a elope type of thing. She wants to have some sort of party/reception type thing. I'm not saying no, but I'm not that excited about it. I'm just really glad she doesn't want a huge wedding, so a family get together is way fine with me.

I really hope she'll just elope with me out of the blue. I like the idea of that.

I don't mind the concept of eloping but I think I'd really miss not being able to share the day with close family and friends ("close" being the operative word here). I think it makes the day even more meaningful. Your marriage doesn't exist in a vacuum, so why should your wedding?

For our wedding, we only invited his immediate family (dad, brothers and sisters-in-law, nieces and nephews) and my close friends. It was so nice and warm and intimate. Also, for the younger nieces and nephews, I really think that their being able to participate helped to "legitimize" the union in their eyes so they were more readily able to accept me as their "aunt".

Chikygrl, you mentioned that your family in Tennessee is supportive of your relationship whereas your family in California is not. Why not get married in Tennessee? It can even be a simple dinner party at somebody's backyard. You wouldn't have to go into any debt at all.

Some random thoughts on eloping:

I never thought I'd consider eloping, but now I do toy with the idea. I'm not really that comfortable being in the limelight and I think I'd just find the ceremony and reception stressful. And my family is weird :rolleyes: , so I'd be stressed about that.

I also think though, that it would also feel funny to just go away and come back married...and wonder if my friends and family would have difficulty seeing it as legitimate.

I guess I think about going to an awesome destination somewhere, preferably warm, and getting married there - maybe with just a couple close friends. But then, I think my family would be disappointed.

I also think about what my BF's two other weddings were like sometimes, and I think from his point of view, he'd like something different. He's done the church wedding and the backyard wedding....:rolleyes: He felt a bit uncomfortable at both, because he's not much of a socialite either....and he felt like he was dragged through one of them.

And I totally agree with you about the amount of money....we're both pretty frugal and don't see the point in blowing that kind of money on something that would be stressful and only lasts for one day. I think spending that money travelling would be much more fun.

I guess, when it comes down to it, I'd probably try to do a bit of a family thing, as well as the great trip together. Like maybe run away and get married, have the honeymoon, and then come back and have a small reception with friends and family? Or something along those lines.

I think it's a great idea . . . I hope my sister decides to elope. ;)

I would LOVE to elope.

But it would kill my family. If I have a wedding, it would be for them, not me.

I would LOVE to elope.

But it would kill my family. If I have a wedding, it would be for them, not me.

I hope they plan on paying for it then. ;)

my first wedding was a big wedding

my second disaster was an elopment....

my third wedding/marriage was a huge party and a lot of fun.


i don't know... it's not the ceremony event that makes the marriage.... it's the people.

if your family is non-supportive, if you dont' have the money, if you have always dreamed of elvis marrying you.... then go for it.

Doing the whole big wedding ceremony is stressful and time consuming to plan, not to mention expensive. When I got married, I didnt have the time to mess with planning a whole wedding since I'm still in school full time. We decided to get married at a Sandals resort in Jamaica. It was about $6000 for first class round trip airflight from washington and a week down there. The nice thing about a resort like that is, the wedding is all included, you just have to show up and make a couple of choices. If you dont have anyone going there with you, they'll even provide attendants for the ceremony. It was beautiful and the most fun I've ever had.

My parents went with us, and everyone knew about it, so it wasnt really eloping. But, it did save us alot of money and stress. Doing something like that and then having a small reception when you get back could be a good option.

Now that's what I'm talkin about!! Missy, that sounds like it was great.

Sometimes I love the idea of a huge party where everyone can come, live music, lots of food, weekend long kinda thing...

Other times I would love to just get married quietly somewhere.

I think the idea of eloping is so romantic and sweet. It's like the couple just runs off with each other and their love and that's what it should be about.

:o

Nessa~~ After watching the hell some of my friends have gone through planning their weddings, I always said I'd do it in Vegas, by Elvis (Afterall Elvis did die RIGHT after I was born! well 3 days!)
BUT Shane thinks that it's "horribly tacky" and is turned off by the whole Vegas idea.

on that note,

Emzak~~ We are looking into getting married in Tenn. Apparently it's a lot like Vegas, no blood test, no waiting period, just get the licesene and go!
I'm researching different places, and leaning towards some (Vegasesque) chaples in the Smoky Mountains, about an hour from Knoxville.
So it is a thought.

Thank being said there are people in Calif. that we do want at the wedding. Namely my best friend and his wife, and Shane's sister.
If Shane's mother is still alive when we do it, then it will have to be in Calif.
(but she's not doing well so who knows?)

brian always wanted to do it in vegas

untill he WATCHED an online Vegas wedding and was HORRIFIED at how tacky it was.



nuff said

ROFLAO. I remember that one. :eek:

Eloping is cool.

We can't do that, though. Litical's 'rents actually asked him over the holidays, "You're not going to run off an elope, are you?" NOPE. Only child. I suspect if we do marry, he will choose the venue, she will do the preparations (because it will mean a lot to her and she's AWESOME) and me and the kids will show up. Only hitch is, we gotta convince my brother to get ordained or something, cuz HE has to marry us. He just HAS to. It wouldn't be right with anyone else.

~phos

I wanna elope...then have a huge kick ass reception.

Although i'm torn..cuz I still wanna wear the dress. *grin*

Nadine.

I wanna elope...then have a huge kick ass reception.

Although i'm torn..cuz I still wanna wear the dress. *grin*

Nadine.
Why cant you elope and still wear the dress?

Why cant you elope and still wear the dress?

Hmmm...good point. *grin*

Nadine.

Funny we just discussed this issue. I know we already have a wedding thread going, but I'm having a hard time with my dad. My parents divorced November 2005 and my dad is living with his girlfriend that he'd been cheating on my mom with for a year or so before. I don't want her there. He got offended. Honestly, I don't want him there. He doesn't deserve the privelage. So, today we were just thinking, well I was thinking, of just going to the court house and doing it. But I think my mom would be hurt, even though she said she wouldn't...and my grandma. And Leigh insists we do it "the right way." So, if we did it, we'd leave out my dad...and it would just be for my mom's side of the family...and my Uncle would give me away. How fucking sad. Geez, I need to stop talking about it :D

Alanna

See I don't want either one of my parents at my wedding.
My Dad has been in and out of my life sporadically since I was 7.
My Mom ran out on me when I was 13 (I don't think she'd come anyway).
My stepmonster will turn it into a fiasco and try to control everything.
I'm at the point that I just want my grandmother OUT of my life! (that's a whole other issue, lets just say that she is CONVINCED that I am going to stay here for the next 20+ years and wait on her hand and foot. Seriously she wants me to take 3 weeks off of school so I can take care of her when she has knee surgery!! And she wants me to sign over all of my paychecks to her, so I don't have any money so I can't leave!)

Needless to say once I get a full time job (with LAUSD) I am OUT THE FRIGGIN DOOR!!!

So the only family that I can imagine being there is my aunt & uncle and grandparents (Mom's side of the family) who are all in Knoxville!
Shane's sister is PROBABLY going to go South with us when we move (she live in New Orleans untill about 3 years, when she came to Cali to take care of their Mom.)
and Shane's Mom is 81 and has Alziehiemers. Is not long for this world.

And Vegas weddings REALLY are tacky. We are thinking of having a friend of ours (who is an ordained minister) marry us when we are Natchez (probably next year, it's still too soon!!)

and Fos~~ your bro can get ordained, no problem. There are mail order things to do it!

I say DO IT. We had a small wedding. 8 people total. We didn't exactly elope and the parents were only invited out of my sense of guilt. Wouldn't make that mistake twice;)

I have never understood the whole spending thousands on one day. I am not much of a girlie girl either tho....

We took the savings and put it as a downpayment on a house. My girlfriend who had spent 10,000 the year before I got married, was already getting divorced. Not to say you would or even suggest this as a possiblity. Just saying that her wedding day was only okay-ish not 10,000 okay.

In the end it's YOUR day. You do what makes you both happy.

I did have a HUGE reception. In my back yard (in the country). It was the best time ever. Everyone had an awesome time. Not one person brought us a gift and that was exactly what I wanted and didn't have to ask peeps not to bring anything. I did have it 2 weeks after the "wedding" so this might have helped.

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

~Jenna

I am all for it!!!!! Terry's mom and my mom are very controlling woman!!! Instead of planning a wedding they would kill each other......

Terry and I have been planning to elope every year to Jamaica for the last 2 years... Unfortunately every year something has come up.... I'm hoping once we get past our "million" issues we will be successful in the eloping endeavor...

I would definitely elope. (in fact when it happens for Bob and I, I have the feeling that we will elope) It's just so intimate and romantic. I understand that many people want the traditional wedding and to share the day with family and friends. If I would elope, I would love to sit back and relax and then plan a wedding to renew my vows so my loved ones could be present. That way I could take as long as I wanted because I'd already be married. ;)