Am I the only one?

Is there anyone else out there who's SO has grandchildren? Or do YOU have grandchildren and your SO does not?

we dont' yet (thank goodness) but I can't imagine that they won't be OUR grandchildren as opposed to his or mine. i tease bri that he's gonna be the youngest man in AARP!

Nope...none here. Thankfully Alec doesn't have any previous children. (he did have step-grandchildren from his previous marriage...but doesn't talk to anyone from that time...so it doesn't really count in my mind)

Nadine.

Is there anyone else out there who's SO has grandchildren? Or do YOU have grandchildren and your SO does not?
Nope, he doesn't have any grandkids yet. That's a good thing, considering his daughter is only 15! :eek:

That said, I can kinda relate to how you feel because three of his four brothers have grandkids already. :(

Hi
My bloke has 2 grandchildren and another is on the way....
kinda freaks me out as he keeps saying that if /when we get married I'll be a grandmother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yeah spose i will in a way but still....

how do u feel bout it Strugglieswife?

Yep! Hubby has a granddaughter, two stepgrandsons, and his oldest son is thinking about starting a family as well.

Hi
My bloke has 2 grandchildren and another is on the way....
kinda freaks me out as he keeps saying that if /when we get married I'll be a grandmother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and yeah spose i will in a way but still....

how do u feel bout it Strugglieswife?
HAHA!

You must have missed my introduction post!

I am in the "no, I am not a grandmother, but am a another person available to love your grandchildren" camp.

My husband has 4 grandchildren with a 5th on the way.

My youngest daughter is 3. My daughter is younger than my husband's first grandchild.

I definitely have some feelings on the matter.

My OM has a 7 year old grand daughter and I have a 6 year old daughter. His oldest son is also 4 years younger then me. Talk about weird..

My OM has a 7 year old grand daughter and I have a 6 year old daughter. His oldest son is also 4 years younger then me. Talk about weird..
Isn't it weird to be that close in age to your SO's kids? Hubby's youngest is 5 years older than me.

No grandchildren here, but i think it would be weird for me. Sometimes i already worry that his children are closer in age to me than he is...mostly because it makes me feel like i am small and that it will be weird in their eyes or that it will make it harder for them to accept me or something, not sure it makes sense :p

I dont know how i would feel about grandkids and having my own children when his kids already had them...it is a funny thought :eek:

My bloke hasa daughter who is a month older than me and one who is 2 yrs younger - so very close in age... they still aren't quite sure of my age... but I have officially been accepted by them as the older one asked what i wanted for christmas today!!!! crazy but its true!

Isn't it weird to be that close in age to your SO's kids? Hubby's youngest is 5 years older than me.

I thought it was very weird, but I asked my SO if it bothers him and he said no and I asked his oldest son and he says just as long as I make his dad happy, then it does not bother him either.

I thought it was very weird, but I asked my SO if it bothers him and he said no and I asked his oldest son and he says just as long as I make his dad happy, then it does not bother him either.
Thats the reaction hubby's family has had to. His sons are pretty much happy that he's happy. My nephew and his girls have even started calling me aunt. Its weird, but its nice to feel that acceptance.

My OM has a 7 year old grand daughter and I have a 6 year old daughter. His oldest son is also 4 years younger then me. Talk about weird..

ok, yeah. that's weird.

I was just about to make a new thread about this. My boyfriend's 20 yo daughter went into labor this morning...

I'm just not sure how I feel about it.

Oy. :(

I was just about to make a new thread about this. My boyfriend's 20 yo daughter went into labor this morning...

I'm just not sure how I feel about it.

Oy. :(

It would be totally weird for me.

And i dont know how i would feel but unless the girl is much of a part of your daily lives you will get used to the fact that she has a baby and you will just start your own family when the time comes. :)

I know i would probably start thinking about my own future kids tho :p

Oh I am...but I'm almost thinking that it would be weird, because he's a ....grandpa now. Woah, weird. Does anyone else think it is weird to have children younger than your grandchildren? (From personal experience or not?)


Oh and she's not a part of my daily life...I haven't seen her in almost 2 years...she doesn't really like me and the fact that I'm with her dad..but she's a big part of his life.

I just can't really figure out what is bothering me about this whole thing...I can't tell if I'm jealous, because I want kids too, and were the same age...I dunno. I can't figure it out. All I knows is, it bugs me.

I was just about to make a new thread about this. My boyfriend's 20 yo daughter went into labor this morning...

I'm just not sure how I feel about it.

Oy. :(

Do you think if you marry him you should be called "grandma?"

It's ok to be weirded out. It *is* kind of weird. Do what's comfortable for you.

Do you think if you marry him you should be called "grandma?"

It's ok to be weirded out. It *is* kind of weird. Do what's comfortable for you.

I agree, just take your time to feel weirded out as it is not so weird you feel like that.

And i know the question is not for me, but i would HATE to be called grandma :eek:

Elle.jay, i know it must feel weird to have children with a man who is a grandad, but you have to think at 41 it is not weird to have children while it is weird or at least not very usual to have grandchildren...

No! No..no...no. I don't even consider his kids my step kids. No no no. His son is older than I am. It'd just be WEIRD.

I think its just bothering me BECAUSE I don't know what about it is bothering me...ya know? It's just bizaare.

Elle.jay, i know it must feel weird to have children with a man who is a grandad, but you have to think at 41 it is not weird to have children while it is weird or at least not very usual to have grandchildren...

True. He had his kids very young, and she is having her baby very young as well...thats a good point.

I think it would be weird to be called MOM much less grandma!! :eek:

Thanks for the support guys...I need to talk to someone about this!!! :)

True. He had his kids very young, and she is having her baby very young as well...thats a good point.

I think it would be weird to be called MOM much less grandma!! :eek:

Thanks for the support guys...I need to talk to someone about this!!! :)

well we are here for you! :)

Ah, the joys of AGR..! Listen, elle.jay, you're your boyfriends girlfriend, OK? You are not his children's stepmom and you're not their childrens' grandma. Even if you marry your boyfriend, you're still free to ask them to call you by your name. I do not call my dad's wife my step-mom, she's more like a friend. Similarly, I don't call my mother's husband my step-dad. They're called by their names. I would expect my children (if I had any) to call them by their names.

I would not mind being called grandma as long as it wasn't expected of me to act like an old lady.

I can understand that you're weirded out, but I seriously don't think this is a bigger problem than you ALLOW it to be.

I can understand that you're weirded out, but I seriously don't think this is a bigger problem than you ALLOW it to be.

I completely agree. Its totally normal to be weirded out by a situation like that. My oldest stepson and his wife have been talking about starting to try for a baby after the new year. That's when we are going to start really trying as well. Its incredibily weird.

But, it can be something of a non issue. Thats one nice thing about your SOs kids being older. They aren't around every single day, so there is no pressure for you to take on any responsibility or parenting role at all. I call my stepsons my stepsons on here to keep my posts less confusing, but in real life we call each other by first names. I'm someone who lives with their dad/grandpa and makes him happy, we get along but there isn't much more of a relationship than that. While its still weird, having that limited of a relationship makes the whole thing not much of a problem.

Sorry if that didn't make much sense.

My husband had a 2 1/2 year old Grandchild when I married him. Her
father, my stepson, was 4 years, 11 months older than me. He and his Dad had a blast teasing me and teaching her right off to call me Grandma. I was just 30, and initially thought it to be funny. I felt really accepted by both hubby's son and Grandchild. It did however get me quite a few stares when I was out in the store with her a couple years later. She was 4 1/2, and I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter. They had her calling me Grandma in the store (loudly). People made me feel very awkward in that situation.

About 7 years later hubby's son died, and his old girlfriend moved away with the Granddaughter. We tried for a number of years to keep in touch, but it seemed her mother was influential in getting her to ignore us and eventually lose touch all together. It happened progressively over a couple of years.

Just 10 weeks ago however I became a Grandmother to a beautiful little girl (my avatar is my beautiful little Natalie at 2 months of age) whom my own son and his wife blessed me with. My son was just 7 when I married my current hubby. He thought it to be extremely unique to be an (step) uncle at 7, and have a step brother in his 30's. I'm late forties now and feel I am very ready to be a Grandmother. I know how exciting it is personally to see my own bloodline cross generations.........and further realize much more now the priviledge and honor it was for my hubby and his son to want me to be called "Grandma" by Harmonie.

Elle.jay, I think you would make a kickass grandma! :)

Seriously, though, I think it's natural to feel weird about it. My sense is that you are mostly bothered by the fact that YOU want a baby of your own, but you and Ron are not at the stage where you can really talk about it in depth and put together an action plan.

How does he feel about all this?

He is a happy grandpa...lol. But he has been talking about a baby of OUR own...and I think he thinks it's totally normal. But I, on the other hand, am the one going, woah, you're a grandfather, do you really want a baby? But..he is 41. It's not as weird as it seems. He actually has a relative that has a baby and a grandchild one month a part in age...so it's not weird to him. He's totally happy, thinks everything is fine.

And, I'm getting over it too...I saw pictures of the lil' guy and he's totally cute. And I'm sure it is what you say it is...I do want a baby. We're actually looking more into the VR and REALLY talking about getting engaged. I think it's going to happen sometime pretty soon. So...ya. I'm okay, everyone...just had a little day freak. :D

Ya know, it is all kinda weird, but I think that it's funny to...I mean, why not have FUN with it?

Oh, and my mom and her oldest daughter were preggers at the same time. There's pictures of the two of them posing with their big bellies together. So I don't see it all that odd to have a young baby while also being a grandparent.

My husband has 3 grandchildren...4 through 3 months old. His oldest son is 36. His youngest daughter is 28.

I'm 26. We've been together 5 1/2 years. Married for 3 weeks now!

Yeah...it is wierd.

My husband has 3 grandchildren...4 through 3 months old. His oldest son is 36. His youngest daughter is 28.

I'm 26. We've been together 5 1/2 years. Married for 3 weeks now!

Yeah...it is wierd.

SN! Glad to have you back!

He is a happy grandpa...lol. But he has been talking about a baby of OUR own...and I think he thinks it's totally normal. But I, on the other hand, am the one going, woah, you're a grandfather, do you really want a baby? But..he is 41. It's not as weird as it seems. He actually has a relative that has a baby and a grandchild one month a part in age...so it's not weird to him. He's totally happy, thinks everything is fine.

And, I'm getting over it too...I saw pictures of the lil' guy and he's totally cute. And I'm sure it is what you say it is...I do want a baby. We're actually looking more into the VR and REALLY talking about getting engaged. I think it's going to happen sometime pretty soon. So...ya. I'm okay, everyone...just had a little day freak. :D
Aww, that's so exciting!!

i have been involved w/someone for two years...we love each other very much, but are waiting to meet the families until his divorce is final. his children are older than me. i'm concerned that i wont have what it takes to make them feel comfortable (or myself, for that matter). He has four grandchildren, and wants to have a family with me.

i have been involved w/someone for two years...we love each other very much, but are waiting to meet the families until his divorce is final. his children are older than me. i'm concerned that i wont have what it takes to make them feel comfortable (or myself, for that matter). He has four grandchildren, and wants to have a family with me.
That's a tough one. Do his kids know about you, even though you guys haven't met? How long will it be until his divorce is final?

That's a tough one. Do his kids know about you, even though you guys haven't met? How long will it be until his divorce is final?

going to be even tougher if she is in any way responsible for the breakup of the marriage.

i struggle w/whether i am 'responsible' for the break up of the marriage or not. we worked together for a number of years and developed a high level of respect, a "within the bounds of normal/appropriate" friendship, and somehow, over time, we found the nerve (or the insanity) to admit the feelings that had developed. We were both in very unhappy marriages...and we didn't spend hours "confiding" in each other about the flaws/mistakes of our spouses; we have never tried to make ourselves feel better by making them out to be to blame. But we have discussed--in general, minus the gory details--the reasons we were unhappy. should he have left his wife years ago? probably. did he? no. what am i to do? he is fairly well known in our city/town; and for that matter, I am no wallflower. we've done our best to handle this in a fashion that will be the least traumatic for everyone involved...but am I deluding myself that it's even possible to avoid disaster? He seems to think courage, commitment, and a positive mental attitude will overcome any initial awkwardness. I love him dearly but I am really struggling with determining the right course.

his kids and i have not met. he has filed for divorce; it is a matter of weeks until it is final.

Lucky I am older then my bfs kids. His step daughters are 22-Amber & 21-Holly. His 2 kids are (Girl & Boy) 18-Samantha, & 16-Eric. He has 3 step grandkids. (ALL GIRLS) and 2 on the way. They are 1 yr old, a yr a half old and 9 months.
We have 2 kids. (Boy & Girl) My son Blake is 2 and My daughter Alisa is 9 months. Hollys baby and Alisa is only 3 days apart. They both was close to Samanthas b-day. Thats not it. My son was born on my sisters 17 b-day March 6. He was born in the same town where my sister was born & got delivery by the same doctor.