BAD SEX! :(

Ok so I had sex this weekend with that guy I have been dating for a month.

Friday night I went to his house and then we went to bed and had sex. It started out great. Foreplay was wonderful! Then we started to have sex and he didnt make any noise which I thought was a little odd. We had sex for like 20 minutes and then I told him I cant have orgasms through intercourse so he could finish whenever he wanted to. So we rolled over and he stopped.

I asked him if he was done....because I didnt think he had came yet.
I saw him take the condom off and I could see that he did in fact cum.
I had no idea!!! He was so quiet.....I had no idea when it happened! Then I started thinking there was something wrong with me.

So the next morning was his birthday so I surprised him by waking him up with a hand job. Took him like 3 minutes and he came....he still did not even make a sound.

That night was his birthday party and we both drank way too much...we went to bed around 2am and then we had sex again...well this time the sex was better....but he couldnt cum...so we gave up.

That morning we woke up and I wanted to have sex again.....he came in about 7 minutes :eek:

And this morning.....he came in about 5 minutes.

Sorry everyone if this is too much info!!! I just have no idea what to do! I thought it just happened so fast the 1st time due to nerves or something like that. Well now im thinking not. I dont know if he thinks its normal for him to cum that fast or if he is embarrassed by it. I dont even know if I should talk to him about it ot if there is anything I can do.

I know sex isnt everything in a relationship but it is important to me and I cant imagine being in a relationship with him if this is going to happen all the time. I hope I dont sound like a horrible person by saying that! I just happen to like sex A LOT!

Any suggestions on what to do? I have no idea!

It could be a physical issue.

Or...

Maybe you need to get to know him better? Time doesn't necessarily guarantee better sex but sometimes there's just too much pressure in the beginning when you really don't know someone all that well.

:confused:

this is mrleigh alanna's other, borrowing her access as was to lazy to log her out. anyways, first is are you looking for distance or substance? Unfortunitly I have found as you (cough cough) get older men tend to have a little shorter lasting time then when younger. Some have enough problem just getting it up.And having been there and back if the guy truly understands himself and what you need, then he will take longer in foreplay and maybe get you off before intercourse. That way when having sex if he cannot hold back for a little bit longer at east both are satisfied. Maybe a little after touching to induce another orgasm for you might be fun as well and maybe he might excited again. As for no noise, maybe he does not want you know cause of being fast. If you tell him that you like noise well men being like cave dwellers love the sound of victory and beat their chest as well lol. Good Luck

Thanks for the advice :)

I dont know what is going to happen. He is only 6 years older than me (he is 27) so I highly doubt it has anything to do with age.

He has NO problem with getting an erection.

Maybe when we get to know each other better the sex will get better too....

One can only hope!:)

IF you can't come from penetration why do you care how long the actual intercourse lasts?


we often make love without penetration at all.

IF you can't come from penetration why do you care how long the actual intercourse lasts?


we often make love without penetration at all.

That was going to be my question too.


I had a roommate in college who started seeing this guy and he would cum in like 30 seconds. Now THATS a problem.

actually if i recall 3-6 minutes is considered average....

i don't come from penetration... but i do for my husband when he orally stimulates me.....

Even though I cant orgasm during intercourse.....sex still feels very good and I enjoy it very much. I am just used to having sex for like 30 minutes to an hour and not 5 minutes.:o

Have you had many partners?

Or was your older man one of the only other partners you've had?

My boyfriend is convinced that his lasting so long is due to experience and practice...

Have you had many partners?

Or was your older man one of the only other partners you've had?

My boyfriend is convinced that his lasting so long is due to experience and practice...


He is my 3rd partner. He also told me the other night that he hasnt had sex in a very long time (like years)...he said he isnt into casual sex so has been waiting for the right girl to come along.

So I guess that could be why he doesnt last for very long.:confused:

Amanda, I think him being so quick is probably related to the newness of the relationship, especially if it's been awhile. I'd give him some time, and wait for him to get used to being with a woman again...bet you that it will take him a bit longer then. But, I think the average for a guy is about 15 minutes.

About him being quiet, some guys are just like that. You might be able to gently encourage him to be more vocal, but I think sometimes they just aren't built that way....they have all their focus on what's going on inside and just don't make a sound.....

Oh god...an hour of actual penetration?

I'd kill myself.

LOL! Anyways...I'd have to agree with everyone else...it's probably because of the newness factor...

But if it becomes a long term problem...why do you just sit down and talk to him about it?

Nadine.

Oh god...an hour of actual penetration?

I'd kill myself.

I have to agree with Nadine on this one!!!
there just comes a time when your legs start to hurt and you can't walk afterward.
(seriously, had a guy once, FIVE HOURS!!!!!!!!!! I was just like get the fuck off me already!!! It wasn't pleasant!!)

There's lots of other stuff to be doing during that hour (or 5!)

an hour? I get bored after about 5 minutes and my mind starts to wander.

lol i am like nessa...well maybe not after 5 mins but more than 20 and i am about to die...plus i am very sensitive so after a long time it starts to hurt and does hurt for some days...so i am like if you want it everyday,do it properly :D

i am sure it is a matter of practice,my ex and i after 5 years together had great sex,tho at first it was not so good.I cannot tell much about my guy now cause we have been together 4 days,he had not had sex in 4 years cause he is not into casual sex either.It still worked pretty good...though i got hurt cause it was too big and we had it too many times (taking into account i have not had it in 9 months since i got back from france :eek: )

all i would say is practice more!and talk to him when you two feel comfortable,i personally dont like very noisy guys,and i am not myself very noisy,though it is nice getting signs of "i am enjoying it" so tell him your needs and if you do it w/o hurting his feelings/macho ego...i will just try to do whatever it takes to have good sex :)

I was just like get the fuck off me already!!!

Oh Chiky! You always make me laugh--I really needed that this morning!!

:D

lol i am like nessa...well maybe not after 5 mins but more than 20 and i am about to die...plus i am very sensitive so after a long time it starts to hurt and does hurt for some days...so i am like if you want it everyday,do it properly :D


Ditto...absolutely ditto.

Nadine.

omg... i could have my guy in me all day and i'd be one happy chappy.

:eek: Me too, skibunny. I don't think Litical has ever figured out what a "quickie" is... and that's FINE FINE FINE by me. I think we might have it more OFTEN if he did, but hey... I do NOT complain about the fact that its never shorter than 15 minutes and usually much closer to an hour or more.

I do very much remember the 5 minute thing with my last hubby and that'd make me go :eek: WTF??? In fact, it did. WTF??? That's IT? :rolleyes: Sadsadsad.

Although, there are times when it would be nice to do a 5 minute hit and run... you know, before work, right after gettin' home when the kids are otherwise occupied... but meh. I would NOT trade off with anyone! :D

~phos

MMmmm...quickie...

Had one today at lunch. *GRIN*

Nadine.

Yeah, my guy doesn't know what a quickie is either. That's why we don't get to do it all the time either... I don't have 3 hours to spare!

Yeah, my guy doesn't know what a quickie is either. That's why we don't get to do it all the time either... I don't have 3 hours to spare!


I am sooo jealous!!!!:mad:;)

I am sooo jealous!!!!:mad:;)


don't be. We keep totally different schedules and are always exhausted and have different days off. I get some once a week if I'm lucky these days!

Lots of guys are quiet when they ejaculate! It's perfectly normal. They're enjoying it though! :p

As for penetration...I agree with the others. There's only so much you can handle. It begins to hurt me after 20 minutes. My OM and I just do a bunch of foreplay before deed. I can't ogasm during sex either. Again this is perfectly normal. Many women can't orgasm at all! :eek:

I know I'm sounding sappy in saying this, but what makes sex so good IMO is the emotions that go along with it. If it's too early in the relationship, either the emotions haven't developed yet or thier premature (i.e. honeymoon stage).

Peace,
Mary Ann

for what its worth, and I don't know if this is bad or not...

but my boyfriend does NOT make a lot of noise, if any, during sex. He used to talk dirty before he got to know me, but now he can't even do that!

I, on the other hand, make enough noise for both of us.