Okay, need some advice

Those of you in LDR's, I need your help.
I just got accepted to an amazing, financial aid transferrable study abroad program. 10 months in England. I currently go to college in VA, three hours from my man. So, I'm going back to my home in Ohio over the summer to work an incredible job (I fall in love and all these awesome opportunities just open up..). So, we're looking at me being in England for 10 months, and Ohio for three. Being apart will be new to us. Those of you who have dealt with distance before, what struggles did you encounter? Are there little things you can do to reinforce your love across oceans?

We're already had a few serious discussions about this and even before we knew I was accepted we were both of the mindset "if i get accepted, i go.." because I can't pass this up (especially the 4 week winter break and five week spring break in England!! And going with 30 of my classmates to a new country... eek! Can you tell I'm excited?). Anyways, as soon as we found out I was going, he geniunely has tried to be supportive and has even mentioned that it sounds like an awesome program. His concern is that I'm going to "meet somebody" in England. His other concern is that he might try to push me away. Now, we've talked a lot about these issues which, at the root, have to do with trust. Those things will be worked out over time.
In the meantime, any tips? Advice? Words of encouragement?
I'd appreciate it.

Well first...Congrats on getting accepted and for having the courage to apply!!! How exciting!!! :D

I say go...because if you don't go just because of the long distance thing...you'll always wonder what might have happened if you had gone.

As for the long distance thing....I'm not currently in one...but I was...it's doable...especially when they'res an end in sight.

Computers are gonna be your best friend. Email's, IM's, Webcam, phone thru the internet stuff...all great tools for keeping in contact.

I'd see if you can't take a piece or two of his clothing with you....when Alec would visit I'd make him wear a white teeshirt...then I'd snag it from him...so it'd smell soooo good. That helps too.

Look into phone cards...i'm not sure about international rates...there are people here who do the international long distance thing who can better help you with that.

All in all....how exciting!!! I'm excited for you! *grin* You'll have to post pictures! :D

Nadine.

I was in the same spot once. The guy and l lasted 2 more years after the england thing, and broke up for totally unrelated reasons.

If you really love him, you won't meet anyone else. That being said, that's a long stretch of time. How long have you been together. What does he do? Is it a job he could easily replace? What part of England are you going to? Is him coming with you and getting a flat with you a possibility? I myself am pretty impulsive. I would ask my fiance to take an Leave of Absence and he would totally come. There's lots of work in "cash" economy, hospitality stuff, where he wouldn't have to go through the work permit hoops.

if you don't go I will personally go to ohio and kick your butt!!!!!!!!

Relationships (especially good ones) have a tendancy to get through these things and worse.

I studied in France and Belgium for 4 months last summer (and in Ireland for a month) had the most incredible time of my life. Granted my man had asked me out 2 DAYS before I got on a plane. I told him to call me when I got back to the states.
You will get over there and the time will FLY!! You will have SO much fun!!! And it really is a life changing adventure!

Where in England are you going to be?
I lived in Hammersmith (London) for a year!

congratulations!!! enjoy every moment!!

i was international LD for 1.5 years. it can be done. exactly what nadine said. computer will be your best friend, and there are calling rates you can get for 2 cents a minute

When I studied abroad, one of the girls I went with had a boyfriend. They'd been together like 6 years already... it was tough, she called him quite a bit, but they made it through! And she had a wonderful experience!

I can't give you any advice but I can wish you good luck.... I'm sure you will be fine.

BB dont miss the chance you have been given :)

I ilve in Madrid and spent last year in Bordeaux, France...well,as for the experience,it was amazing,i really do think it changed me quite a bit,made some awesome friends i keep in touch with as much as i can.

Hmm I went there with my best friend,the guy i had been with for 5 years and i split,though not cause i was heading to france.He was always supportive and encouraged me to go there...sigh you never know...our relationship ended before i went there.

on the other hand,my best friend who had been with his bf for 6 years and whose relationship was not going very good stayed together,as result...they did not talk those months but 4 or 5 times,and of course she lied to him,and was with other guys.

I still do think if you two are in love,you are sure about your feelings and about his you can get through this.The temptation may be there but hey...you never know where you could meet someone that would make you have doubts about your relationship,it doesnt have to be necessarily in England.

You will find out if you go there,you will meet a lot of people,in your same situation,far from their countries...living on their own for the first time,and not having much to do other than enjoying a very long holiday (at least it was like this for me and most of the people i met...though yes i had to go to class from time to time heh).

You will share everything with them in very little time,so you think you are best friends after the second week...it can be confusing if you happen to meet an awesome guy,just have to keep your feet on the ground.

This is a temporary life,your real life is there in the US (or not...tho,you must keep in sight it is a year of your life,not what your life is going to be when all your friends go back home ),but my advice is you enjoy it as much as you can.It may turn out to be a great personal experience for you,and dealing with your guy on a LDR,may result as growth and strenghten (lol if that word exists in english) of your relationship.

Dont miss the chance and enjoy as much as you can,share all your feelings with your guy and always be honest and faithful to him,when there,tell him about the things you do,but omit details that are not important but that may hurt him (never hide the truth tho)just let him be part of that experience too,and dont tell him how much you miss him anytime you talk to him or when you dont feel it,it could make him either feel bad or wonder "if you miss me so much wtf are you doing there?"

suggest him coming to visit you,not now but when you are there,whatever you say now before getting there would be empty words for him,let him know,after you have started your "new life there" he is still a very important part of it.

so basically,be honest to him and to yourself,and have a great time. :)

as i said i loved my time there,have very good memories and friends i will never forget,i hope it is the same for you!!

/hugs

María

Go and enjoy yourself!

Ten months isn't that long in the big scheme of things--you guys will get through it. Nowadays it's so much easier with email, webcams, etc. Also, he can come visit you in England or you can go visit him back home, so it's not like you won't see him AT ALL for ten months.

As for his insecurity about you meeting someone else, how does you being in England change that? You can just as easily meet someone else in the States. Also, isn't your bf in the army or something? What happens if he gets stationed somewhere else?

When I was in college, I let myself get tied down way too quickly. I wish I had done back then what you are about to do now.

Yeah, it's hard...the only long distence relationships I had were over the net, and I'm sure it's going to be harder people who acually met each other to spend time away from them...

With that being said, I have no personal experince of my own...but my sister and her husband do. They were only going out for a year before they got married (I was 2 when they got married). He got inlisted in the Military after they got married and he went over seas. My sister came to live with us again for a little while then she moved back out. I dont' remember everything, but he came back and had to go back again...when he retired from the military, he came home and saw that my sister was still at work. So he decided to wait for her, took a shower..when he out of the shower, he heard front door close. He ran out of the bathroom and they hugged each other for the longest time..they are still married and now have a beautiful 12 year old daughter.

lol ok, so what is my point? Well, yes, when you are far away from someone you love it's going to be hard. But we have things now that make it easier for us like the internet (and phones). If you two really love each other then it'll work out. :)

I think other people on here have really good advice for you *nods nods*
Good luck and take Europe by storm!!

GO GO GO GO!!

Your relationship will take care of itself. If it's meant to be, then you will endure the long distance issues. But you are so young--stay open to all the possibilities that this experience will offer you!

I know what your going through...
I went to art school in San Francisco while me and Griffin were together...It was tough but as EMZak has said there are lots of ways to keep the communication open. I can remember sitting in my figure drawing class and having my cell phone on silent/vibrate...so Griffin could always text me no matter if I was in class or not...it was fun. We were also really big on 'mail art'...also sending silly postcards and pictures...then there was e-mail and our cell phones on the same plan so calls to one another were free on top of that:) I won't say it wasn't hard at times but we made it through in one piece.
Congrats on being accepted!!! You guys will be fine!
Kristen/Sabinne

Okay, first of all, thanks for the great advice!

1. I am going no matter what- I had promised myself that before applying anyways. I turned in the form to attend today :)

2. Boyfriend is full time military, so I keep telling him "uhhh.. this would be just like if you were deployed again..."

3. I really do appreciate all the advice. I think we'll be alright and I have confidence that we'll get through it. It should be hard, but that's okay. Working through struggles is part of love, right? :)


4. I'll be in Reading, England.
Thanks all!
Any more tips would be great!