Working moms and moms-to-be

As many of you know, Zakem and I are hoping to add to our family soon. :)

Anyway, we've been having lots of discussions about our respective careers, child care, how it's all going to work, etc.

Please share your system and whether you think it works or not, and what you would do to change it if you could.

Well, my system right now relies heavily on my parents involvement and support. I'm not sure things would work for us right now without it. We would never be able to afford to live if we had to pay for childcare or one of us stay home. :eek: So, I don't have a lot of advice for people in "normal" situations without the ability for one person to stay home. Daycare costs are ASTRONOMICAL. I think I would go the route of a live in nanny or au paire before using a "facility" anyway. It's less expensive. :eek:

Our plan, eventually, won't happen until Litical is making enough money to support us on his own and then I will stay home and homeschool the kids, raise his/mine babies and work part-time from home. :D

~phos

I am no where near ready to have kids yet, but I do think about the future. My mom is a great mom and a teacher and I think my plan is to pay her to take care of my kids when I am at work.

My mom is retired from teaching and does some hours at a day care now and I just don't like how they treat children in most day cares. I don't know if I could bear to leave my child there. Not that I am judging anyone who does, a lot of people have no other choice. It's impossible in most places to live on one income, so people gotta do what they gotta do.

I write business and marketing and ad material right now as a career, but I have written a whole ficitonal book on the side and am writing more. Maybe someday if I could make a career out of my fiction writing or some type of freelance writing I could work at home. If I had to stay in the corporate world though, my first choice would be to leave the kids with my mom.

thankfully when the boys were little (under 5) I was a SAHM.

you need teamwork and a flexible job and if possible good family support.

i really don't know how some moms of little ones do it to be honest.

When my boys were small and I was a single working mom, I was a teacher so my hours were somewhat compatible with daycare hours. I worked 7:30-2:45 and daycare was open 6-6 so if I needed to put in extra hours it wasn't a big deal.

If I had had a regular 8-5 job, it would've been more challenging.

Most recently, I was working as a teacher and my hours were 7:30-4:30 (different district) my job was at least an hour from home, so juggling daycare would've been more of a challenge. We decided based on the cost of putting 2 boys and twins in daycare vs. my salary it made more sense for me to stay home fulltime. With another new baby coming anyday now, it makes even more sense for me to stay home. It has changed our lifestyle, for sure, but it is worth it for all of us.

My plan is once the babies get a bit older, I might consider doing home daycare. With 3 kids under 18 months old, that's not an option right now, but maybe a couple of years down the line.

I ponder this issue myself. I have no plans to be a SAHM. None. I think it's admirable that others can and want to, but I would go insane being at home everyday. I could change my mind, but I doubt it.

I plan to open my own business, get it up and running, and bring my child to work part time. Even have plans for an area for my child. It could blow up in my face, but that's my plan. However, I'm smart enough to realize my plan may go out the back door when I have a kid and I may WANT to stay at home.:eek: We'll see.;)

I ponder this issue myself. I have no plans to be a SAHM. None. I think it's admirable that others can and want to, but I would go insane being at home everyday. I could change my mind, but I doubt it.

I could have written that before I had my daughter. I tried to go back to work after she was born, I cried all the way there, while I was there and all the way home. All I wanted was to be home with her, taking care of her, reading to her, cleaning my house ( it was spotless after she was born, while she napped I cleaned and waited for her to wake up)

Becoming a Mommy woke something up inside me, I had never felt so happy. So I quit my job, took a job doing books where she could come with me, got laid off, collected unemployment, went to night school, taught myself how to make websites, then began working at home and I've been here ever since.

I can't wait to do it again.

I could have written that before I had my daughter. I tried to go back to work after she was born, I cried all the way there, while I was there and all the way home. All I wanted was to be home with her, taking care of her, reading to her, cleaning my house ( it was spotless after she was born, while she napped I cleaned and waited for her to wake up)

*high fives Malani* Ain't THAT the truth???

When I was pregnant with my son, I wanted to move to cali and become a filmmaker and work with my sister, but got trapped in the vortex of DC. I worked in a place which was geographically 20 minutes from my home, but the commute took 1 hour 40 minutes EACH WAY. I loved that job, even though the commute sucked and wanted to stay there, but once my maternity leave was over... OMG, I couldn't handle it.

I'd leave the house at 5 am, drop my son at his grandmothers, hit the road and not get home until 6:30 pm, and he would be asleep and I'd sob hysterically that I'd just missed 13 1/2 hours of the day with him! I had no choice about working, but I took a job paying less closer to home with my parents because they offered me astounding hours. 9-4. :eek: AND it was 10 minutes from home. My hysteria subsided a bit. Until one day I blinked and I'd had TWO kids both over 5 and I'd missed SO MUCH.

NOW, it bothers me again. My kids are 11 and 6 now. I can't believe they are that old!!! And so much more of their waking hours have been spent with their grandparents, I can't HELP but to be jealous. :( I yearn for that time back. I yearn and desire to at least work towards making being with them the rest of their childhood for more hours then I am now, and damnit, I LOVE commuting with them. They are trapped in the car with me unable to escape and its ME time. :D I make the best of what is, for 90% of working mothers, a miserable reality.

As much as I know I will go out of my mind if I ever get to actually BE a SAHM, I DO know that I will fight for the opportunity. It's sure got to beat the REGRET.

At the very least, I can work towards being able to be a gramma like MY mother is - and a huge help to my own kids. :)

~phos