vasectomy reversal

Does vasectomy revarsal work for men over 40 - I read somewhere that it might not work out:( . Did anybody here try?

Reversals can work for men over 40. Your chances at success decrease the longer it has been since the man had the vasectomy done. The dr. we found has done successful reversals for several men more than 25 years after the original vasectomy was done.

Hubby is going to get his reversal done early next year (Hopefully!)

He didn't tell me but it's not longer than 5-7 years. maybe much less... Good luck with yours:)

Well then your chances are very great. My boyfriend is about 15 years out from his!!

If his has been less than 5 years, you have an awesome shot at a reversal working perfectly. Hubby is almost 25 years out from his, so our chances are quite a bit less.

I will ask him when he comes, I don't want to bother him now with that - he's going through some trouble with his daughter who has just discovered dad is dating someone -she found my message to him:rolleyes: (she just turnes 13). He had a very hard time with present kid to discuss the future one right now, but I remember him saying "couple of years ago" when we met last time.
But his son is a great guy who WANTED to IM with me and we did!
I think it is important to have a kid that would be yours and his... I would be happy to have a kid who would look like him:)
Funny thing not about vasectomy: my boyfriend told me that he made a vesectomy because he was 100 percent sure he would never want kids again from ANY woman and also said to himself and his friends once that he would rather jump from a skyscraper than date a lady who smokes. then he met me, decided that he wants kids and he actually has to jump cause I smoke (socially mostly, but still):D :D :D

Why on earth would someone want to get a reversal?

Why on earth would someone want to get a reversal?


oh wow... because you meet someone you fall in love with and want to have a child with. I so understand it. Brian and I discussed having my TL reversed.... we opted not to have a child together since we both had children but I can totally understand someone wanting to proceate with someone else they met AFTER their sterilazation.

I still don't get it. If you had the procedure done it means you made a big step to make sure you didn't have kids. I don't see how that can change.

Well, unless someone pressures you into it.

Well, hubby was pressured into getting the vasectomy done in the first place. It was his 100% his idea to look into the reversal once we were getting serious.

Vicky, you need to check out Dr. Sheldon Marks's website and message board.

http://www.vasectomy-reversal.org/message-board/index.php

Dr. Marks is hands-down one of the best microsurgeons in the U.S. (dare I say the world?) He is a urologist who specializes in vasectomy reversals, meaning that his entire practice is devoted to doing reversals.

Watch out for local urologists who may do one or two reversals a month, yet they call themselves "specialists". What a joke. A vasectomy reversal is a delicate three-hour procedure that must be done under high-powered microscopes--after all, the doc is trying to reattach something that is much thinner than a strand of hair. :eek:

Hubby went to Dr. Marks last December for a reversal, and I am happy to report that his sperm count is completely back to normal. It's like he's never had the vasectomy in the first place, and his vasectomy was 10 years old!

So don't lose hope. It doesn't matter how old the vasectomy is--just make sure you get the best doctor for the job and you'll be fine. Feel free to PM me if you have more specific questions. :)

Why on earth would someone want to get a reversal?
For many reasons.

A man may remarry after a divorce and wants a baby with his new wife.

A married couple may change their minds and decide they want more children. (You'd be surprised how often this happens--I am on several vasectomy reversal message boards and most of the members are in this scenario, i.e. after having a few kids, they think they're all done so husband gets snipped, then a few years later, they decide to have more.)

A married couple loses a child and wants to have another.

I think some people should just get a dog.

I still don't get it. If you had the procedure done it means you made a big step to make sure you didn't have kids. I don't see how that can change.

Well, unless someone pressures you into it.


normally permanent sterilization is done AFTER you have had children and don't plan any more. I was NOT pressured into having my TL. But yes I would have reversed it given the chance and tried for a baby gladly with my husband.

because who i was at 33 when the tubal was done (after 2 kids and a miscarriage or two) was not who i was at 43 when I met my now husband.

I think some people should just get a dog.

I think I've read that you don't want children, SD. If I'm wrong I apologize....but maybe if you don't that's why you don't understand someone changing their mind and deciding they want another one....for whatever reason.

Personally, I can't understand (or maybe it's that I can't relate to) someone in their 40's or 50's wanting to start a family or start over. I'm 53 and I can't imagine starting over again.

However, having said that....if I met and fell in love with someone younger who wanted children, I may feel differently. Although, I don't think I actually would decide to have anymore....through surrogacy or adoption. So that would probably end a relationship with someone who really did want kids.

I also think the situation may be a little different for men who are older, as opposed to women who are older. Men have been having children into their later years since the beginning of time....

Jean Paul Belmondo (an actor) is 73 and has a 3-year old daughter and his wife is almost 40 years his junior:eek:
WOW!!!

Personally, I can't understand (or maybe it's that I can't relate to) someone in their 40's or 50's wanting to start a family or start over. I'm 53 and I can't imagine starting over again.

However, having said that....if I met and fell in love with someone younger who wanted children, I may feel differently. Although, I don't think I actually would decide to have anymore....through surrogacy or adoption. So that would probably end a relationship with someone who really did want kids.

I also think the situation may be a little different for men who are older, as opposed to women who are older. Men have been having children into their later years since the beginning of time....

I also thought probably no one in their 40 or 50's having their own kids already (or not) would be willing to start over, and have a baby....especially cause there are years of dedication to your kids, that affect from where you go on holidays, to what movies you see,and in general everything you do until they are old enough to do it themselves...

Most of people in their 40 and 50's are past that stage, and they can do more things for themselves again, have more "couple time" ,and the thought of going through the same again can be discouraging for some people.

I knew for me, Eric not wanting any more children would be a deal breaker, thankfully he was open to have more kids and i am glad he is, though i would have totally understood if he did not want anymore, i just could not be with someone who did not want them cause i do.

Now, if he could not have them for whatever reason it would be different, i would not risk losing a perfect partner to have kids with someone else. But that is a matter of priorities.

Maybe it sounds confusing, cause in the end, whether he did not want to or he could not have babies, the result would be the same, but indeed different for me.

I'll be damned if I get clipped

Personally, I can't understand (or maybe it's that I can't relate to) someone in their 40's or 50's wanting to start a family or start over.

I can't speak for other people in that age group, but I know that in our case, Zakem has a lot of regrets about how he handled fatherhood the first time around (because of his divorce) and he is looking forward to trying again with a new baby.

Even he admits that there are a lot of benefits to being an older father--he is much more patient, experienced, financially stable, and as he's already established in his career, he has much more time to devote to a little one instead of having to climb the corporate ladder like many younger dads.

I can't speak for other people in that age group, but I know that in our case, Zakem has a lot of regrets about how he handled fatherhood the first time around (because of his divorce) and he is looking forward to trying again with a new baby.

Even he admits that there are a lot of benefits to being an older father--he is much more patient, experienced, financially stable, and as he's already established in his career, he has much more time to devote to a little one instead of having to climb the corporate ladder like many younger dads.
I could have typed that word for word about hubby. He's really looking forward to being a stay at home dad after he retires in a few years.

How do y'all who have had this done (or are thinking about it) bring this up with the kids you already have?
My stepmother DESPERATLY wanted my father to have a reversal when they got married (her kids were 13 & 10, his were 13, 11, & 9).

I know all sorts of hell would have broken loose if my Dad had one.
That kid would have been 14 or 15 by now (they've been married 16 years next week).

Hell we're still bitter that they got married in the first place! I can't imagine what I would have felt if they had had a baby.

How do y'all who have had this done (or are thinking about it) bring this up with the kids you already have?

Hubby has brought it up several times with his kids over the past couple years. The 15-yr-old girl seemed somewhat interested in the prospect of having a baby sister, though she also pointed out that her dad is "too old" to have a new baby. :rolleyes: The 12-yr-old boy seemed neutral, but he did say it would be "weird" to have a sibling who does not live with him.

Hubby is trying to get the kids into family therapy with him, and rest assured, the topic of a new sibling will be thoroughly covered.

How do y'all who have had this done (or are thinking about it) bring this up with the kids you already have?

Hubby and I were at the mall with his son and hubby mentioned that we were going to try for a baby at some point. Stepson thought it was a little weird, but was generally happy that his dad is at a point were he has the possibility for a happy family.

Hubby says he told his middle son he was thinking about having a baby one of the last times he saw him. Hubby said his son was happy for him.

I don't think hubby has told his youngest son yet. Out of all three of them, the youngest one is the most likely to have a problem with it. I don't know how we're going to work out the baby issue with him, but I guess that will come along eventually.

Looks like the question is very important foe many people. Thanks for the adress of the doc, Emzak. When time comes I'll check it out. I also agree that a good doc can do things right, even if vasectomy is old.
I do not think Peter is too old for a baby (41 right now), my dad was 44 when I was born - his first and only kid and I do not remember any problems, he was taken as my grandpa only once and it didn't really bother me. But again we have to solve a LDR problem first:D and then only think about reversals and babies. He was thinking of moving to Russia for like 6 months, but then he realized how his kids need him right now, so it never worked. Hope we'll solve this problem soon - we really miss eah other:rolleyes: !!!

My dad didn't tell us he reversed his vasectomy and got two children with his now wife. The first time around, it was devastating for my youngest brother, who was very bitter about the divorce in the first place, but my dad had promised him not to get any more children. It was difficult to get past it all, but now he couldn't be without his half siblings - he's great with them, much better than me! They adore him. That said, it should have been discussed.

I never had a problems with it myself, but I was 19 at the time and didn't suffer from any jealousy issues as my brother did (he was 11).

Forties is so NOT old for men to be having kids. My dad was in his mid-50s when my mom, in her early 40s, had my younger sister.

Yesterday I had a staff xmas lunch that my BF also attended. The subject of kids came up, and people were teasing my BF about "when he becomes a daddy". I thought it was pretty funny (and nice) that it came up so easily and casually and no one alluded to him being too old for kids in his future.

My dad didn't tell us he reversed his vasectomy

I'm not sure if the kids actually know about his vasectomy in the first place. If they don't, is that something a parent should bring up? :confused:

Chances are they probably do though (especially the 15-yr-old girl, maybe not the 12-yr-old boy), because I'm sure their mother at one point must have told them something like "Your dad never wanted any kids--that's why he got a vasectomy after you two were born". :rolleyes:

I'm not sure if the kids actually know about his vasectomy in the first place. If they don't, is that something a parent should bring up? :confused:

Chances are they probably do though (especially the 15-yr-old girl, maybe not the 12-yr-old boy), because I'm sure their mother at one point must have told them something like "Your dad never wanted any kids--that's why he got a vasectomy after you two were born". :rolleyes:

ooohhh!!! Honey!! Why do I get the feeling that you are in for some trouble??
How were his kids with the divorce? What is their attitude towards you? (now and when you were first dating?)

15 and 12 are rough ages. I was 13 when my Dad and Stepmom got married, and while I am okay with her now, it took about 15 years. And NOT because I wanted my parents to get back together (this is my Dad's THIRD wife).
BUT I did want my father's attention, and love. (granted I was still bitter that he had taken off to NY with his second wife).

And if their mom has been startin shit...
you've got some real trouble on your hands. You both need to sit down with the kids and discuss EVERYTHING, and it's better to do this now before it blows up in your face!!

I'm not sure if the kids actually know about his vasectomy in the first place. If they don't, is that something a parent should bring up? :confused:

I don't actually think I knew, but the youngest brother did. He was the youngest one and very jealous and afraid of him getting more kids, so I guess that's how he found out.

I don't think it's something a parent needs to tell his children, but I don't think it's bad for them to know if they find out, either.

I don't know when I found out about my Dad's.
I think it was after my parent's got divorced. There was some speculation over the paternity of my first stepmother's youngest child. (Tracy wasn't a year old when they got married). I remember my Mom saying that Tracy couldn't have been his since he had a vasectomy. (my Mom had her tubes tied at the same time).

My parents both started their FIRST families in their 40's... (well, my mom was 39, my dad was in his 40s).
And I dont think either regret waiting, nor do they regret starting one "later" in life.
Same here! My mom was in her late 30's when she had her first baby, and me at 40. And I am sure glad they DON'T regret it. LOL...:rolleyes: Everyone is different and stages start and stop at different times for different people. Its too hard to make a generalization when it comes to people having kids. :p