pregnant - possibly

Soooo ... just around the time that my BF and I really cleared up the issues we were having, and got to the bottom of things, and got to a new and higher rung in our relationship (we both feel really good about it now, although his family still mistrusts me) ... yesterday I started feeling really ill. I'm a couple of days late; I didn't think much of it at first because it's happened before, and I've been under some stress for various reasons which can affect my cycles. But when I started feeling nauseous and not wanting to eat, I got suspicious. I told him I wasn't feeling well and he took my pulse, and it was fast. My heart is working harder than normal. And we keep waiting for it to go down, but it hasn't -- it's been this way for nearly 24 hours now.

He's been so wonderful and told me that we won't worry about it, we'll just wait and make the decision when we need to. Well; I'll make the decision. He would probably like a child. And I have no doubt that he would make a fantastic father; I have seen him interact with my little sister and with his niece and nephews, and he's wonderful. But he also knows that I'm very very young. Heck, I'm supposed to be starting college in 9 months! (This is my year off. :o )

Christmas is a stressful time anyway, so I kind of resent this happening NOW.

Plus, I feel like crap. My heart's still racing, I feel on the verge of throwing up, I'm short of breath, I'm exhausted, I keep feeling ravenous but if I even look at food my stomach flips over. Dizzy, too. And getting chills and hot flashes. This is the worst I've felt in a long time.

I'm not worried that my BF will leave me if I am pregnant and decide to get an abortion. He has told me he will stay with me through it, and I believe him; plus, he confessed to me yesterday that he wants as badly as I do (maybe even more) for this relationship to be "it." I wouldn't mind having children, but later, when I've finished school, when things are more settled, ideally within marriage. What does worry me is the emotional consequences of getting an abortion. I don't even kill spiders. But I think that going through a full pregnancy and labor right now would be traumatic for me. I'm just really not ready.

Hopefully all of this is not an issue, but I feel so strange, I can't help taking all these things into serious consideration ... and of course I've considered them before, since I knew as soon as I became sexually active that it was a very real possibility. I thought about it extensively and talked with my BF and decided that if this happened I would and could deal with the consequences. I'm a little scared though.

You can't predict life! And the universe's main priority is not making things convenient for individuals. :rolleyes: We'll see how things go ... however they go, though, I have faith that I can deal with it and that my BF will continue to be supportive and utterly wonderful, as he has been.

-millie

First of all, try to calm down, sometimes stress can have physical consequences that have been affecting you more than you thought. Have you already got a test or something?If not, i think you should as soon as possible.

You are lucky your guy and you are going through this together, and it is nice to know he will support you in anything you decide if you were pregnant.

I now what i am going to tell you wont be exactly helpful, but only you can know what is the right choice for you, your partner,your relationship, your future and the baby if you decided to have it.

I know if i were in your shoes, i would probably lean towards abortion. I do think one must be responsible of their acts, and maybe abortion can look to many as "getting rid of the problem the easy way"; but the truth is you are 18, you want to go to college, you feel it is too early...taking all this in consideration; is it more responsible to have a baby or not having it?

On the other hand, if you decided to have the baby (all this guessing you are actually pregnant) I am sure things will work out in the end, because they always do, i am sure while you would miss some things, you would get so many in return, and probably you would never regret it either.

I am not telling you what to do, but i do think you kind of know what you want to do, and i think you are not making a mistake.

Whatever decision you make will affect you, your life and your partner's, so just think of it carefully and either way do not take the decision lightly, there is no going back.

You are a very wise woman, i trust your judgement, and i know you will make the best decision; i just want to show you my support, and tell you not to let anyone but you have any influence in your decision.

I would recommend for your nerves' sake and so you can start thinking about the issue or stop doing it to have a pregnancy test done as soon as possible.

(((hugs))) I do not envy your situation right now, but it is always nice to know in rough moments your partner is there for you. :)

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Go get a pregnancy test right now!!!!!

Em, I actually took one yesterday that I got from the drugstore and it was negative. But it may be too early to get accurate results ... so I'm going to take another one and see. Hopefully they will continue to be negative, but if not ... well, we'll just see.

Nasmah, thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. I do indeed feel lucky to have such a supportive man going through this with me; and of course I'm going to take his feelings into account when I make my decision. I definitely don't want to rush into a decision, which is why I'm thinking so much about it now, processing it, so that if I do finally test positive, I'll already be partway down the path of deciding what to do about it. I think my biggest worry, actually, about getting an abortion, is that my BF is so honorable he would feel obliged to stay with me, but that on some level (he is, after all, human) he might feel some resentment. If I am pregnant, and if I do get an abortion, I know it will be very hard on both of us. At any rate, I'll raise these concerns when I see him next. He had to leave for work today; didn't want to; I pretty much kicked him out the door. ;)

I'll let y'all know as soon as I know one way or another ...
-millie

You could just have the flu, chica.

I know I thought I was pregnant a time or two. Basically convinced myself I was. Bought those early detection pregnancy tests and NADA. *whew*

Take another test and let yourself relax a little.;)

I hope it's just the flu! I think what concerns me the most is that I'm getting strange cramping in my lower abdomen but no blood ... :(

I'm trying to stay relaxed. :)

I hope it's just the flu! I think what concerns me the most is that I'm getting strange cramping in my lower abdomen but no blood ... :(

I'm trying to stay relaxed. :)


I think you're stressing yourself out. Sometimes I'll be late and have the cramping and VOILA period arrives a couple of days later.

If it's really bugging you go get an EPT test or something, like, tonight.

Definitely go get a test, because stress can certainly cause very similar symptoms.

Short of that, I have to (as politely as possible) disagree with the illogicical belief that having a baby, even at 18, some how puts an "END" to any opportunity to go to college or still have "your" life. In fact, its not an END to anything, but a beginning. And I can't tell you how many people I went to college with who were family folk, raising kids, working part time, living a damn good life. Just not the one they "foresaw" at 17. Life's twists, turns, and bumps lead to some of the coolest places you'll ever go... and every single one of them is "unforeseen."

Good luck, millie. And while I hope you're not pregnant (if you don't want to be), I also believe if you ARE, you'd be a great mother and still have an amazing life.

~phos

Thanks, Phos!

I do think there's a VERY good chance it may be stress. Especially since most of the symptoms have let up by now. Neither I nor my BF are making assumptions yet, and I'm taking a test again today, so we'll see. Still, even if it's a false alarm as it may well be, it's probably just as well for me - and for him - to seriously consider it and consider what we would do in such a situation.

As far as having the child vs not having it, there is definitely a part of me that thinks that if I were pregnant, I would want to have it. I do believe an abortion would be horribly upsetting for me. And I could probably find a way to go to college even with a child. We're not financially stable right now, is one thing, but ... you go where life takes you ... you can't always be prepared! (In fact, I find I'm usually not. :D)

Anyway, I will post as soon as I know. Thank you, everyone, for your kind and helpful words.
-millie

oh millie, i'm too panicing a bit about being late. my bf and i did have sex and well, not everything went as planned. i don't think i am pregnant, but i tend to cycle every 30-40 days at most. i haven't had any cramping and i was freaking out the day before yesterday. it's been 31 days. i know stress will make things worse and not to mention that i'm stressed about money right now. i just want to have to think about if i am pregnant. lucky for me, i don't have any symptoms which is a sign i'm probably not, but still. sometimes you can't help worrying. i've never wanted my period so bad till now.

good luck and let us know how things go with your test.

I took the test this morning but it didn't work (the little line that's supposed to appear to indicate that it worked properly didn't appear) so I'm waiting a few hours and then I'll try again. Grr. :mad:

I'm sorry you're in this situation too, spdaphne! Hope everything turns out alright for both of us. I have such a short cycle (22-25 days), that maybe I shouldn't be concerned that it's taking longer; maybe I'm just getting more normal! Anyway ... if the next test doesn't work ... I may become very very frustrated.

NEGATIVE!!!!
*gasp of relief* :o

NEGATIVE!!!!
*gasp of relief* :o

I knew it!:D

Glad to hear it! :)

Mazel tov!

Yeah ... :) But then we are still not 100 % positive because I've still not had my period. So we'll wait a bit and then go to a clinic if needed. For now, I am just not going to worry about it.

I knew it too. hehe
You know, I've been there. & as Nasmah sais, its the worries that make you think you are preggfies, & by the way, all this talking on MTag about babies sure added to the thoughts LOL hehe ;)

ya know girls just because you miss a period does not mean you are pregnant. nor does getting a period always mean you are not pregnant.

No, but a missed period combined with sudden nausea, food aversions, and dizzy spells can make you think.

At any rate, I started my period this morning. :)

nausia can be a result of changing energies.
IF you are sensitive to that.