how old is too old to have a baby?

Is there anyone here that has had baby after age 40 or is preggers now, or thinking about having one soon? My hubby is 28 and doesnt have any kids. Im 44 and have 4 kids, 3 of which are home with us. He doesnt know if he is ready right now. I think the main thing for him right now is he is scared. He was scared with my older kids, telling me he is worried that he will not be a good enough dad to them. He is great with them. Its been a natural thing for him. So now.....a part of me wants to have one. For one, I love him so much, and he doesnt have a kid, so I want to have a kid with him. I tell him, as much as he loves my kids and says thats all he needs, its different and he really is missing out. All his friends are startingto have babies right now. He seems to go back and forth with, sometimes seeming like deep down he would like to and yet doesnt want to commit to a yes, and then other times saying he doesnt want one. Again , I think its more of a scare that he can support and be a good dad. Then I worry about being too old, or that I will have the energy. I worry about our alone time together and know its so nice when my ex has the kids and we are free. But then I know that once you have a baby, you wouldnt trade your situation for the world, that you just deal with and it and it just works out. And now.......I may have miscalulated when my period is due and we may have done something at a wrong time (or would that be a right time?) lol. So now we are both wondering if I could already be preggers. But its too early to take a test. Im just so confused....
So am I being stupid thinking it might be nice to have a baby?

i think that's totally up to you and your husband ... AND your doctor. sounds like it's time to make an appointment with your doctor about having a child now since it's sometimes difficult to have a child over the age of 40.

i don't think you're stupid for thinking it would be nice to have a baby. i think that's natural when you meet someone you love and are sharing your life with. it's something you and your husband can always share together for the rest of your lives.

having been in the situation your kids would be in, I have to ask how old they are and more importantly how they would feel if you had a baby???

thanks for the responses......my kids are as follows, girls 20, 16 and 13 and a boy 10. The oldest two are not bothered by it at all and the 16 year old wants one bad. The 13 year old is sometimes for it and then other times says naaaa. But still doesnt seem bothered by it. My baby boy says no, Im your baby Mom. I tell him he will always be my baby and nothing will change that. He will always be special. I dont think he would really have a problem with it if it happened. I think he would not only get used to it but I think once he sees it wouldnt change anything he would even better with. And who knows.....none of us may have a choice in the matter, lol. I might have goofed and may already be preggers. :eek:

If you and your so want a child and your doctor says it would be ok, then go for it. Its definately not stupid to want a child with your new guy. My hubby wants to have a baby with me now, and he's 50.

If you and your so want a child and your doctor says it would be ok, then go for it. Its definately not stupid to want a child with your new guy. My hubby wants to have a baby with me now, and he's 50.
I agree! If you and your husband want a baby, the only thing that could stop you is your biological clock. And even if that happens, there is always surrogacy or adoption. Talk to your hubby and your doctor. :)

agree, how old is old for a dad in your opinion? ( I am asking everybody)
I mean, if you are preggies & your hubby is, lets say 60...? pff it is a hard one for me, anyone some thoughts?
Genie

My mom was 40 when she had me, and I don't think thats too old. Not at all. My mom was and still is in great health, and I turned out fine as well! ;) I think as long as you are able, then why not? Technology is helping us all live longer...why not enjoy life?

He seems to go back and forth with, sometimes seeming like deep down he would like to and yet doesnt want to commit to a yes, and then other times saying he doesnt want one.

...um, you aren't LISTENING.

He is going back and forth between NO and probably NOT.

Unless you get the green light from him, like a firm YES, then it would be inappropriate to proceed.

So am I being stupid thinking it might be nice to have a baby?

It isn't stupid to want to have a baby.

It is very stupid to go ahead and purposely make a life altering decision for someone else, without their ABSOLUTE consent OR to pressure them into one.

You need to talk to him about this.

...um, you aren't LISTENING.

He is going back and forth between NO and probably NOT.

Unless you get the green light from him, like a firm YES, then it would be inappropriate to proceed.



It isn't stupid to want to have a baby.

It is very stupid to go ahead and purposely make a life altering decision for someone else, without their ABSOLUTE consent OR to pressure them into one.

You need to talk to him about this.

sorry, I must have made it sound bad....I would NEVER do this without him saying he is ready. He trusts me and I would never do anything like that. I was just trying to say that sometimes out of the blue, he will see a baby or make a comment like he would like to have one and other times he says no not yet. I think the only reason he says no is because he gets scared thinking he will not be a good dad. I have let him know that my clock is ticking, lol. Not to pressure him, but to let him know that 5 years down the road it will not be an option. And we talked about this way before we were married and he is ok with. However, we may have mistaken when I would least likely get preggers and we have no choice now. This is nothing that I tricked him into, because to be honest, Im not totally sure I want to start all over with a baby myself. More like,I love him and would do it for him and want to give him the opportunity if he wishes. We have always been honest and upfront and he knows that we may have miscalculated and that I could be preggers and he is fine with it either way. One of these days if I dont get my monthly,I will take a test. But I have been late before so maybe its just that.

hehehehehe....ooops!:p No need to apoligise WA! Perhaps, I should!:o

I took your words at face value and thought..."geesh, this woman is thinking rather obtusely! She's turning a maybe into a YES!"

Anyway, glad that you are both on board if a "surprise" has occurred and also that you have discussed details on that topic together, previously!

It might just be the season around here...when you bring a group of women into association, over a duration of time, their menstral cycles start to align in rhythm together.

I wonder if this phenomenon will also occur from the result of cyber-association.

...guess that's why there's been so many scares lately...LOL

hehehehehe....ooops!:p No need to apoligise WA! Perhaps, I should!:o

I took your words at face value and thought..."geesh, this woman is thinking rather obtusely! She's turning a maybe into a YES!"

Anyway, glad that you are both on board if a "surprise" has occurred and also that you have discussed details on that topic together, previously!

It might just be the season around here...when you bring a group of women into association, over a duration of time, their menstral cycles start to align in rhythm together.

I wonder if this phenomenon will also occur from the result of cyber-association.

...guess that's why there's been so many scares lately...LOL

lol, sometimes its hard to write something and have it come out like you mean it. If that makes sense. But yes, I made sure we talked about EVERYTHING before we got married. I didnt want any surprises and I intend for this one to work out. Especially since there is that large age gap. hehe. I made sure he knew what he was getting and if he didnt like it , he didnt have to marry me.

And I think ur right about the cycle stuff.....seems like theres alot of the same stuff going on here, lol. Theres alot of pregnancy talk all of sudden :D

I seriously hope Im not, at least for the time being. Like I said, if it wasnt for the fact that he doesnt have any of his own, I probably wouldnt even consider doing it again. And we had some bad news yesterday that also makes me hope I am not. Our friendswere preggers. Her second, his first. She was only about 24weeks along when she started bleeding badly and was rushed to the hospital. They had to do an emergency c section and take the baby. Baby Mia was only 1 pound 3 oz. She lived for a week and a half and passed away yesterday morning. I feel so darn badly for them and I would not want to be pregnant right now as I feel that would hurt them if they found out. They have enough to deal with right now. :(