Do you want kids?

Hi ladies (and men) just wondering if you all are planning to have kids someday if you don't have them already!

If so, how many do you want (have)?

~Mary Ann

Yes!

In fact, Zakem and I are trying right now. :)

I'm thinking two, but let's see how #1 goes first. :p

HEY! You missed out on a whole other choice there. :p I have kids and we plan on having at least one together.

I have two. I AM a third, so I want one more. He's an only child, so I'm hoping ONLY one will be okay. ;) But, then again, if its a girl? Well, we might have to try again for the family namesake. :D

~phos

No, I don't want kids.:p I know I won't be having anymore.

~Jenna

I am undecided.

They seem like so much work and I am not sure I want to give up things like sleep, going out, just being able to do what I want w/o thinking of anyone else! Gosh I sound totally selfish! :D

I think I am way too young to have a child. But you never know....in a few years I may change my mind!

i have a 5yr old son.

and we are officially TTC now=) 2 kids would be enough for us. i want a little girl sO bad! i love my son to death, but a girl would be nice this time around..

fos,

Oh yeah! I'm sorry. I don't know if I can edit the poll but I'll try!

fos,

Oh yeah! I'm sorry. I don't know if I can edit the poll but I'll try!

this has actually been a dealbreaker in the past.
I want kids!!! Desperatly!!!

If I'm not married in the next 5 years, then I'm going to have one on my own.

(I'll be 35 then and running out of time!)

No. I don't want to have kids.

Gosh I sound totally selfish!

If you think about it the reasons many people do want to have kids are mostly self-centred or only about the couple and not the baby itself. Here are a few popular reasons (I know it's hard to believe for some, but yes, these are all real and stated in studies):

1. Because I/we want to carry on my family name.

2. Because I want security in old age (someone to take care of me).

3. Because I think children will be fun/entertaining.

4. Because I don't want to be lonely.

5. Because it will be a symbol of our unity.

6. Because I want to add meaning/value to my life.

7. Because I want to be like my friends.

Most of them also sound like bad reasons to create another human life to me; especially if it is their one and only reason for wanting a child! A child is not meant to be solely a name-carrier, a reassurance of future security, a source of entertainment, company, a symbol, something to fill a void in your life, or a means of fitting in with your peers.

A lot of these 'reasons' can be satisfied by other methods:

1. I can't think of an alternative to passing on a family name, but I think that reason is as silly as wanting a baby just so they don't have to let their clothes be thrown away and forgotten forever once they're dead.

2. They can find a nice old people's home, get a good pension and make sure they stay healthy and fit so they don't need to worry about having no one to care for them when they're old.

3. If they're so bored they want to have a baby for fun, they should try finding some entertaining hobby.

4. If they're lonely, they should go out and make some friends.

5. If they want a symbol of marriage, why don't they look at the rings on their fingers, or frame their wedding certificate and hang it on the wall? This is much kinder than having a child for the sole purpose of reminding them how close they are to each other.

6. If they feel their life is devoid of meaning/value, it's probably in their best interest to go see a therapist.

7. As for fitting in with their friends... it's not that hard to find new people to spend time with who don't have kids.

Another option could have been "I want kids, but my SO can't have any". If things go well with Carol, thats the boat I'll be in. I'm ok with it, but I would love to have kids.

Yes, I absolutely want kids. Hubby and I are working on it at the moment in fact. Currently, we're thinking we want was many kids as we can afford.

I think I want kids, and if my relationships with my BF end up with marriage and he is still willing and able (he needs a vasectomy reverlas) to have kids (he wanted to) then we will.

Another option could have been "I want kids, but my SO can't have any". If things go well with Carol, thats the boat I'll be in. I'm ok with it, but I would love to have kids.

Adoption? Fostering? :D
~phos

1. Because I/we want to carry on my family name.

WELL, carrying on the family name can be an important thing, but it shouldn't be the ONLY reason to have kids. Personally, I LOVE kids and loved being pregnant and love being a mother.

When I got pregnant with my son, I was NOT ready. I was 23, in my last semester of college, and not even thinking about kids or being a mother and wasn't even sure I would be any good at it - kids were invisible to me at that point in my life. He changed me!! I ADORE him and do not regret my decision to keep him.

In a different life, I swear I could have 10 kids and love every single one of them and help cultivate their individuality. I don't think my desire to have kids is either selfish OR selfless. They are just a part of life I would never (in retrospect) want to miss out on. They are SO MUCH FUN. The good soooooo outweighs any of the bad.

~phos

I am still on the undecided side.

I know I'm not ready for a kid because as of right now I would only want a girl. :D I don't like icky boys.

Alec for sure doesn't want kids.

Our plan right now is to just not have kids...and then if I do ever get bitten by the mommy bug...we'll talk and re-evaluate things. And I'm ok with that. :D

Nadine.

Adoption? Fostering? :D
~phos

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Carol has already raised 4 kids, so I don't know if she'd be up for another. If not, thats ok, there will be her grandkids, and I'll have nephews and nieces. There will be plenty of kids for me to love.

WELL, carrying on the family name can be an important thing, but it shouldn't be the ONLY reason to have kids.

Yes, that is what I stated in my post, so what I said does not apply to you.

I don't think my desire to have kids is either selfish OR selfless.

I can't see where I said anyone's desire for children is selfish. I only see me saying the most common reasons people have children are selfish ones. Same for reasons people decide not to have children. It is difficult to avoid coming across as self-centred when people are making decisions about their personal lives. I don't think there are many people who only take others into consideration when making big life decisions (unless they were threatened into it).

I can't see where I said anyone's desire for children is selfish. I only see me saying the most common reasons people have children are selfish ones. Same for reasons people decide not to have children. It is difficult to avoid coming across as self-centred when people are making decisions about their personal lives. I don't think there are many people who only take others into consideration when making big life decisions (unless they were threatened into it).

This is true. I do find it really ironic though, when people criticize those that don't have kids and consider THEM selfish, when we have so many people on this earth already. Personally, I think it is more selfish to HAVE them when we really don't have much room for more people.

Heh, but this doesn't mean I don't want kids. I do, or I think I do, but I do recognize that it is a bit selfish, or at least more selfish than not having kids.

Am I even making sense? I think I need to go back to bed! :confused:

LOL! Cute - I love these new icons! :love:

I'm looking forward to having grandchildren....at least two....one from my son and one from my daughter. They both want children so they'll probably each have at least one. In fact, I almost was a grandmother last year but my future daughter-in-law had a miscarriage last February. It may sound strange but for a short time I actually mourned the loss of my grandchild. But all things happen for a reason and I know, in the future, I will have happy, healthy grandchildren. My son and my daughter are going to be wonderful parents.

Also, neither one of my children were planned. In having them, I was neither selfish nor selfless. God blessed me and I tried to rise to the occasion. Sometimes I did, and sometimes I didn't. And, even when I screwed up, I was still blessed with fantastic kids.

I will not be having any kids!

I have many health problems that are hereditary. Many illnesses such as heart disease, cancer, depression (leading to suicide), alcoholism, drug abuse, and uncontrolled anger run in my family. This is not to say my family is terrible, as I love them very much, but there are some issues.

As for adoption, I'm not into that either. I just don't have what it takes to be a parent: patience, time, money, etc! Besides I already raised my little brother!

In my free time, as I age, I will continue to participate in events that are meaningful to me: hospice, therapy work with dogs, agility, etc :)

My OM doesn't want kids either! He intially wanted them, but we mutually decided it would be a mistake, since we both don't have what it takes to be a parent.

:love:

I want to adopt.

Also, just want to say that I agree with Hapa and Annie. :)

I want to adopt.

Also, just want to say that I agree with Hapa and Annie. :)
Do you want to be a single mom or wait till you meet a right person and then adopt?

Do you want to be a single mom or wait till you meet a right person and then adopt?

Hehe. If I could afford to adopt and be a single SAHM, I'd would do it in a heartbeat! From what I've seen, I think being a single parent has some benefits (I know I'm weird :o ). But adoption is very expensive as is raising children and I won't make enough money to raise a child the way I want to on my own, so I'd like to have a partner first. Besides, I would like meet the "right person" soon, so hopefully I won't have to decide on whether or not to adopt as a single mom! :D

But this poses a little problem for me because I don't know many people who would choose to adopt and not have any biological children, so I might be willing to compromise for the right person (1 biological).

But this poses a little problem for me because I don't know many people who would choose to adopt and not have any biological children, so I might be willing to compromise for the right person (1 biological).

Why do you want to adopt if you can have kids? And yes, a very few people would want to adopt instead of having biological...

Why do you want to adopt if you can have kids? And yes, a very few people would want to adopt instead of having biological...

There are too many children already in this world who do not have parents or anyone to love them and help guide them through this life. I know that I have the capacity to love an adopted child as if I gave birth to her, so why wouldn't I put that to use? I feel that it would be incredibly selfish of me to reproduce just because I am biologically capable when I know I would love an adopted child just as much. I just can't stomach the thought of all of the children who are in orphanages and foster care (or worse) with no one to love them. It breaks my heart. :(

If more the people could think that way, Moon... People spend thousand dollars to be able to broduce kids when they can actually adopt. I feel for these kids, but I'm not ready to adopt....

I absolutely want kids...I have already thought of names for them and everything..

I have wanted to have kids since I was 12!!! :P

I am having children definitely. with or without a man.

I decided about a year ago that I was going to be artificially inseminated. There have been some things that have come up that have delayed that happening.

I don't know how it will effect current relationship, but he knows of my intentions and my concerns with my age.