yet another chapter in my ongoing saga

Well Shane has professed his love to me (that's in another thread).
And apparently while he was up north he asked his sister if she would be willing to sew my wedding dress. We had talked about MY asking her and making it a project that the two of us can bond over, which I like (she's the only family he has left, after his mom dies, she's a TOUGH BROD!!!)

So I think he's gonna ask me. And I think it's gonna be soon!!

Oh very cool idea! Foster a strong sense of family...save a little money...and have a PERFECT wedding dress! Very cool...

good luck! And when you says yes...its ok to cry! :D

how exciting.

nice chik :D

are you sure you want to marry him this soon?you have been together for half a year after all...i personally dont believe in marriage but in commitment,wether you are married or not.If marrying him is what you wish,then i hope he asks soon :D

and it looks like he will :) i am happy for you two!

6 months seems short to me too--- but I am sure a lot of people do it in that time.

Of course, I always promised myself I wouldn't get married til I dated the guy for 10 years... so if after 3, we get engaged, I'll feel like I'm rushing things!:p

YAY Chiky....it's fun to hear all your updates! Of course, when he does pop the question, you know we want to hear all the details. ;)

And yeah, I used to think that you HAD to date at least a year before considering moving in together, and another couple years to decide to marry. But, sometimes you just know....and if so, why bother waiting.

Oh, and did his sister agree to sew the dress?

6 months seems short to me too--- but I am sure a lot of people do it in that time.

Of course, I always promised myself I wouldn't get married til I dated the guy for 10 years... so if after 3, we get engaged, I'll feel like I'm rushing things!:p
Thats how my best friend is...her and her boyfriend, who is in the Air Force, have only KNOWN eachother 7 months, been dating 6 of those 7, and are almost engaged. I think they are rushing things because it is a LDR thing...and they feel like, "okay, when you come out and see me this time, we'll get engaged, then next time, we'll get married" but...I guess I can understand that. But, I mean, 6 months, you're still in that "lust" kind of stage, and once you get out of that, what if it isn't what you expected??

lj

Thats how my best friend is...her and her boyfriend, who is in the Air Force, have only KNOWN eachother 7 months, been dating 6 of those 7, and are almost engaged. I think they are rushing things because it is a LDR thing...and they feel like, "okay, when you come out and see me this time, we'll get engaged, then next time, we'll get married" but...I guess I can understand that. But, I mean, 6 months, you're still in that "lust" kind of stage, and once you get out of that, what if it isn't what you expected??

lj
See, my friends are opposite... My friends have all been dating their boyfriends for YEARS...

my best friend has been dating her boyfriend since they were 15... so about 9 years... and they PREFER to live long distance. They both live in LA now, but when he moved to LA, she chose to move to NY because she didn't want to seem like she had to be with him... even though shes an actress and realized she needed to be in LA. And when she went to school for four years in NY, he was in Atlanta.

My friends are just not INTO marriage, which is probably where I get it.

But my parents were married within a year of when they started dating.

And since moving,it seems like people get married fast. I have hung out with people who were single and found out literally 6 months later they were married, when they weren't even DATING anyone six months earlier!

I don't think there is a formula for a successful relationship/marriage as far as time is concerned.

I was at a Christmas party in December. A friend of ours was married that night. They met on NYE 2004 and got married December 3, 2005. So, in less than a year they met, dated, got engaged, and got married.

I got to talking to some people at the party and some there were 3 divorced women there... One dated her ex husband for 11 years, got married to him at 29, and 11 months later he said he no longer wanted to be married. Another dated hers for 7 years and was divorced in a year, and the other dated for 5 and was divorced in a year and a half... So a long courtship does not necessarily equal a long marriage.

And then there ARE plenty who date shortly and work out.


Not to hijack your thread! All the best to you!

I personally am in favor of waiting until I've been with a man for at least a year. I need to have seen him in all four seasons and dealing with a variety of life stressors--job, illness, kids (if he has them), etc. But that's just me and my anal-retentiveness.

That said, I also don't believe in dating someone for years and years if your goal is to get married and have kids. Unfortunately for us girls, we have a tighter schedule than the boys (biological clock) so, for me, dating is just one elaborate job interview. :D

Here's one of the best relationship tests I've come across--take an international trip with your guy and see what happens. Nothing puts stress on a romance like missing flights, strange foods and languages, getting lost in the middle of nowhere, travelers diarrhea, and jet lag. :eek:

But back to Chikygrl, YAY!!!!! That is so exciting. I wanted to marry Hubby after six months too but he made me wait another year and a half before proposing. :mad: But to make up for it, we only had a short six-month engagement. :)

I know we've only been dating for 6 months, but we've been friends for 4 years. Besides, I'm at the age that I want to get married, I want to have kids in a couple of years and I'm running out of time. Besides, I AM turning the dreaded 30 next year!!

And yes, his sister did agree to make the dress!!!!

I'm curious as to what is going to happen now, he always spoke of getting married and well anything as "PM" or "Post Mom" well... Mom died this morning (we're going up this weekend for the funeral. So I don't know what's going to happen now...

Chiky, sorry to hear about Shane's mom.

I'm very sorry to hear about Shane's mom, Chiky.
My thoughts and prayers are with you....

:eek: Oh man, chiky! You and Shane both have my condolences. :( I'm very sorry.

~phos

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know we've only been dating for 6 months, but we've been friends for 4 years.

Oh yeah. I forgot about that. In which case, you guys should've been married yesterday! :D

So sorry to hear about Shane's mom. How is he doing? :(

My mother-in-law died 3 weeks before our wedding. I almost postponed it but Hubby and his family didn't want to.

Thanks for everyone's support.
It really hasn't hit Shane yet. It probably will this weekend. but I don't know. She had Alzhiemers and her lung cancer came back. So we knew it was going to happen. Shane is just happy that she's not in pain anymore (apparently the last few days were real bad, and she was allergic to morphine!)
He made his peace with her a long time ago, and he's happy that she finally realized and admitted that she was a "terrible mother" (she was an alcoholic, it wasn't a pleasant childhood).
We are going up to Santa Maria this weekend to make final arangements and pick up the ashes with his sister. But we aren't going to have the memorial service (scatter her ashes at sea) untill Shane's niece comes out here (she lives in Hawaii with her husband & kids).

On a happier note, we booked our tickets to the Organization of American Historians conference in beautiful (note the sarcasim) downtown Lincoln, Nebraska!
I think there must be a reason that only two airlines fly into Lincoln, Ne.