Just Wanted to Share

I just wanted to share some of my good feelings today. As some of you may know, a little over a month and a half ago I had, what I like to call, a nervous breakdown. I'm not sure if it would be considered that clinically, but it sure felt like it. I've always been the type of person to never mourn or grieve over things that have happened in my life. I would pick myself and push forward. I despised depression and refused to wallow in it.

That being said, I never grieved my divorce. I never grieved all the crap my ex-husband did to me. I never even got angry. I didn't feel like he was worth it. Now, obviously, a person cannot go around carrying all this unresolved crap forever therefore I cracked and my YM who is in another hemishpere got trapped in the middle of my madness, couldn't get to me and had zero idea of how to deal with it. He blamed himself.

I never blamed him. I knew where the fault lay and I knew that I had been using him as my bandaid. A bandaid to cover a gun shot wound. :o He didn't know how to deal with me for more than a week and if he had jumped right back in with me I would have never been able to deal with all the pain of my past. I would have just slapped that bandaid back on and never done the healing I needed.

After a couple of weeks we came back together slowly with the intention of not getting as serious as we had been. Strangely, that didn't happen. This entire situation has actually catapulted us beyond what we were. It catapulted us to be even more serious, to start discussing him moving here to the US in the next couple of years.

We've grown so much closer that it almost amazes me. We were always very careful with the words I love you. Okay, he was careful and I was careful because he was, but now he freely tells me how much he loves me with no poking, prodding or hinting. We'll be on the phone and I'll just be rambling along, laughing like an idiot and he'll just say, "God, I love you so much."

I'm so entirely peaceful and content that I can hardly describe it. So, my question is.....do you think that surviving the hard times, the major obstacles of life brings you closer together? I've heard that they can either tear you apart or make you stronger. In our case it has most certainly brought us closer together.

I'm not sure what made me write all this, but dang....I'm happy. *dances*

~Shan

Wow! That's such good news. I remember reading about your breakup (or breakdown) and being really sad for you... so this is definitely a very good thing to hear that you've come through it and are in a BETTER place.

And absolutely, obstacles will either bring you together or tear you apart, so this bodes very well for your future together. ;)

YAY. It's so nice to hear GOOD news.

And welcome! :D I'm glad to see you here!
~phos

I'm so entirely peaceful and content that I can hardly describe it. So, my question is.....do you think that surviving the hard times, the major obstacles of life brings you closer together? I've heard that they can either tear you apart or make you stronger. In our case it has most certainly brought us closer together.

I definitely believe this. My boyfriend and I broke up back in October because of his ex, his uncertainties and pressure from family, mostly. We did see eachother after the break up and he realized that his family was making all his decisions for him and what he really wanted was to be with me. We eventually got back together, and things were 1000 times better than they were before. Just like you said, we were catapulted into another stage, further than we ever were. And I have SO much more confidence this time around, that he's not going to freak out and leave me again.

So I agree. Going through major obstacles brings you closer together.

Good luck Sdoah. Its good to see you at MtAG!!!

lj

yes, the stuff that gets "buried" does have a way of coming back to the surface. glad you navigated it so well!
it says a lot about your love for each other and for you both to have weathered the storm!

So, my question is.....do you think that surviving the hard times, the major obstacles of life brings you closer together? I've heard that they can either tear you apart or make you stronger. In our case it has most certainly brought us closer together.

Yes, definitely. Those who crumble before the obstacles have their relationship torn apart by them, but those who persevere and OVERCOME the obstacles most definitely have their relationship made stronger. There's no way two people can get through hell together and not develop a special and even stronger bond as a result. It sounds like you've finally reached the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel! :)

Just like you said, we were catapulted into another stage, further than we ever were. And I have SO much more confidence this time around, that he's not going to freak out and leave me again.

So I agree. Going through major obstacles brings you closer together.



lj

Thanks so much ladies.

Elle, that is exactly how I feel. I cannot even explain the level of confidence I have in us now. It's like I know that I know that he will always be in my life. It also gave him the confidence to know that he could deal with whatever came our way. I'm still pretty much in awe of how far it has catapulted us.

Shan

I'm very happy for you, Shan....I remember how sad and devastated you were. You're such a sweetheart....you deserve all the happiness in the world.

I do truly believe that getting through difficult times can bring two people closer together. But it does take a lot of love and dedication to each other.

I was wondering about something.....since you guys are so far apart geographically, how do you really provide support for each other when either of you is going through some sort of stress or crisis? It must be very difficult to be so far away from each other.

I was wondering about something.....since you guys are so far apart geographically, how do you really provide support for each other when either of you is going through some sort of stress or crisis? It must be very difficult to be so far away from each other.

Thanks Trish.

It is very difficult. When one of us needs support we use the phone, text messages, and e-mails. Its all words, but I don't have to tell you that sometimes just a word from someone you love is enough to turn your day completely around.

BUT! Sometimes words just can't do it and that's what we mourn the most about our LDR. Just the simple things of touching eachother, being able to smell one another, just his breath upon my neck......awww you know. *flushes*

So, when I have one of those days where I need to be babied and petted that's what he does. For instance, if he's at work and has internet access he will write e-mails, which are like role plays. (Keep in mind that's how we met...a roleplaying site) He'll describes a peaceful setting where he pets me, hugs me and loves on me. It's like having someone write you your own personal romance novel.

If he's at home, he'll call, I'll curl up under the covers and he'll say all those sweet words I need to hear and I imagine he's curled up next to me. It's not perfection, but it does wonders for my flagging spirit. Plus he's got that sexy Australian accent and whatever he says sounds good. *laughs*

Shan

For instance, if he's at work and has internet access he will write e-mails, which are like role plays. (Keep in mind that's how we met...a roleplaying site) He'll describes a peaceful setting where he pets me, hugs me and loves on me. It's like having someone write you your own personal romance novel.

Wow, that is so sweet! :)

Thanks Trish.

It is very difficult. When one of us needs support we use the phone, text messages, and e-mails. Its all words, but I don't have to tell you that sometimes just a word from someone you love is enough to turn your day completely around.

BUT! Sometimes words just can't do it and that's what we mourn the most about our LDR. Just the simple things of touching eachother, being able to smell one another, just his breath upon my neck......awww you know. *flushes*

So, when I have one of those days where I need to be babied and petted that's what he does. For instance, if he's at work and has internet access he will write e-mails, which are like role plays. (Keep in mind that's how we met...a roleplaying site) He'll describes a peaceful setting where he pets me, hugs me and loves on me. It's like having someone write you your own personal romance novel.

If he's at home, he'll call, I'll curl up under the covers and he'll say all those sweet words I need to hear and I imagine he's curled up next to me. It's not perfection, but it does wonders for my flagging spirit. Plus he's got that sexy Australian accent and whatever he says sounds good. *laughs*

Shan

That's so nice, sweet, and romantic.....
I'm never sure which would be more difficult.....keeping a relationship going long distance where you don't see the person, or keeping one going with someone in the same place where you see them all the time....

I always wonder about the "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", "Out of sight..out of mind", or "Familiarity breeds contempt" type stuff....lol! I can't think of a positive cliche for being in the same place....LOL! Somebody help me out here.....I want a positive one for the same place stuff....!!!!! :D

Yeah....what is it about a man with an accent??? :p ;)

That's so nice, sweet, and romantic.....
I'm never sure which would be more difficult.....keeping a relationship going long distance where you don't see the person, or keeping one going with someone in the same place where you see them all the time....

I always wonder about the "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", "Out of sight..out of mind", or "Familiarity breeds contempt" type stuff....lol! I can't think of a positive cliche for being in the same place....LOL! Somebody help me out here.....I want a positive one for the same place stuff....!!!!! :D

Yeah....what is it about a man with an accent??? :p ;)


"Home is where the heart is" or "Love is being stupid together"?

Heck, I don't know. Maybe people that are together are too busy loving eachother to comes up with cliches or quotes about being together.;)

And yes, that accent coupled with my name and few other choice naughty words drives me insane..in a good way.:D

~Shan