I am meeting Eric's daughter in june!

We are flying to Texas for a couple of days on june 1st to meet Eric's dad and pick Morgan (Eric's daughter) so she does not fly on her own. She is going to be with us for three weeks, and i am kind of scared.

I am worried she may not like me or something, of course Eric says i have nothing to worry about but you know...how cannot i be?I have talked to her on the phone a couple times, and we have seen each other of the web cam often...she has drawn me a portrait (this was long time ago) ;)

And well i have no doubt she is a very nice girl but geez what if she does not like me at all?

I have a couple of ideas about doing things we may both enjoy, and i am planning to be not so touchy with Eric not to make her feel jealous or left out or anything, and well i hope it goes good!

Actually i am very excited, worried but excited :D I really cannot wait, because it has been a long time, the first time i ever saw her on the cam was 2005 and we are finally going to meet YAY!

Any tips or something you guys think i should do/not do?

Thanks :)

She'll like you just fine.

Your illegitimate stepson likes you so I'm sure your stepdaughter will. ;)

She'll like you just fine.

Your illegitimate stepson likes you so I'm sure your stepdaughter will. ;)

Awwwwwww thanks! :)

Though you only like me because you were too old for me to play the evil step-mom! :evil:

:D

I'm sure you'll do fine!!
we love you!! How could she not!!

How old is she??

She is 10, she is really nice and tells me 'buenas noches' on the phone when she talks to Eric so i yell 'buenas noches' at her too so she can hear me :D

What is weird to me is that as she was taught in school she calls me ma'am on the phone if talking directly to me, but when she asks about me to her dad she refers to me as Maria.I will die if after 3 weeks she still calls me ma'am >.<

I am thinking about teaching her a half spanish half english song that has a goofy dance, since her Spanish is way better than Eric's!

You all won't have to deal with me for 3 weeks heh but thanks Chiky :) :hug:

okay, 10 is a difficult age.
How long have her parents been divorced?
Are she and Eric close?

I was a little younger (9) when my Dad married his second wife (he's on his third!) and I hated her!!
A lot of it had to do with the fact that my parents hadn't been divorced for more than a year before he ran off to New York to play Daddy to her kids. (something you deffinatly don't need to worry about!)
But part of it was the fact that she tried to be my mother, at least when it came to dicsipline.
I was also deeply hurt (still am) that I wasn't TOLD about the wedding, much less invited! Where there reasons why she couldn't be at your wedding and that you couldn't meet her before now? (I understand the whole visa thing complicated it)

All in all, just be her FRIEND.
Take it slow.
Go by rules that she is familier with (if Dad has his own rules, keep those, if not keep mom's rules) Try to keep things structured and it will be less stressful.

Does she have her own room at your place? or a place that can be hers? (cause that's important too)

And give her alone time with her Dad. Let them bond. It will make your relationship a lot stronger in years to come!

okay, 10 is a difficult age.
How long have her parents been divorced?
Are she and Eric close?

I was a little younger (9) when my Dad married his second wife (he's on his third!) and I hated her!!
A lot of it had to do with the fact that my parents hadn't been divorced for more than a year before he ran off to New York to play Daddy to her kids. (something you deffinatly don't need to worry about!)
But part of it was the fact that she tried to be my mother, at least when it came to dicsipline.
I was also deeply hurt (still am) that I wasn't TOLD about the wedding, much less invited! Where there reasons why she couldn't be at your wedding and that you couldn't meet her before now? (I understand the whole visa thing complicated it)

All in all, just be her FRIEND.
Take it slow.
Go by rules that she is familier with (if Dad has his own rules, keep those, if not keep mom's rules) Try to keep things structured and it will be less stressful.

Does she have her own room at your place? or a place that can be hers? (cause that's important too)

And give her alone time with her Dad. Let them bond. It will make your relationship a lot stronger in years to come!


Well techinically divorced since june but they had been separated before and she and Eric were living together until he had to move here, which was pretty tough for him.

They get along great, that's why i am a little scared there may not be room for me too, you know, like 3 being too many.

I am not trying to be anyone's mother, lol i do not know if i would know how to do that :p so that's fine. As for the rules, we really have no rules in the house, so i am guessing she will follow the rules she followed when they were living together father and daughter (i do not know, bath schedule, bed time and stuff like that). WHat i have heard and seen is she is very nice, obedient and calm, not the 10 yo that will ask for things non stop and make scenes.

Overall they are good buddies, you know what i mean?They have fun together, and miss each other a lot and both are happy to see each other again...and i just want to be part of all that. I know i am not going to be like her dad for her, but at least i would like to feel included in that little family of two they already had and i was not part of, and include her in that little family of two Eric and I have where she is not part of my life.

Not sure you guys know what i mean, because i do not know how to explain it, and i better go to sleep :) Thanks Chiky!

it hasn't been very long, so things are gonna be tough.
did you know him before he was divorced?
Could she pecieve you as a cause?
(I know I blamed my first stepmom)

I truely hope everything goes well!!
For both your sakes!

Maria, I think your plan is a good one. It's totally natural to feel worried and anxious. It shows you care.

While I think many as children had a really tough time adjusting to step parents, I believe there are many others that adore their step parents. You're a kind and compassionate person. You're not exhibiting any jealousy or resentment towards his daughter. You simply want the two of you to find a common ground and be friends.

It sounds like you two are already friendly. Plan activities, be goofy, be real, let Eric enforce bed time, and it will all fall into place. There are tons of daughters out there that adore their step mothers.;) :)

She's going to love you....
Everything you do will be perfect because you care so much.
You are the kindest, sweetest person in the world....there's no way possible that she won't adore you.

First of all, it's impossible to dislike you!

I found an efficient way of bonding with people with whom you have someone in common... When I first met my first boyfriend's ex wife, we ended up teasing him for fun over something that he used to say or do. It's strictly psychological, it's a way of forming a team and breaking down the barriers. Equally, that was how I bonded with my best friend's fiance - the three of us are best friends now! My step mom and me tease my dad as well.

Of course, this is ONLY provided you're not actually being mean to the person you are teasing! Normally, the person will understand what you're actually doing, but sometimes it's maybe best if you warn them.

This probably sounds weird, but it works!

Other than that, it's always good to find interests you have in common, like a TV series. It is also good to ask the other person for their opinion on things or topics they know a lot about, it makes them feel validated.

First of all, it's impossible to dislike you!

I found an efficient way of bonding with people with whom you have someone in common... When I first met my first boyfriend's ex wife, we ended up teasing him for fun over something that he used to say or do. It's strictly psychological, it's a way of forming a team and breaking down the barriers. Equally, that was how I bonded with my best friend's fiance - the three of us are best friends now! My step mom and me tease my dad as well.

Of course, this is ONLY provided you're not actually being mean to the person you are teasing! Normally, the person will understand what you're actually doing, but sometimes it's maybe best if you warn them.

This probably sounds weird, but it works!

Other than that, it's always good to find interests you have in common, like a TV series. It is also good to ask the other person for their opinion on things or topics they know a lot about, it makes them feel validated.

I understand exactly what you're saying about teasing, Marianna. Sometimes I bond with my daughter's boyfriend by teasing her. He laughs and she gets pissed off. LOL!!!!

Lol Eric tells me i am always picking on him :D in a funny way that is, so maybe that's a good idea!

I am not really worried about she thinking i was the reason her parents divorced, or that her dad had to move. She understands that much, i was just more worried about liking each other and getting along good. I have been thinking it should be fine. 3 weeks should be enough to break the ice and get closer, and at the same time i want them to have their own time as well, because that is all she is used to (both being together) and i do not want her to feel strange in the relationship with her dad and all of a sudden being three for everything.

But...i am not that scared anymore!We bought the tickets today :) I wonder also if i will see the ex, which i am extremely curious about, just in a nosy way :D

I found an efficient way of bonding with people with whom you have someone in common... When I first met my first boyfriend's ex wife, we ended up teasing him for fun over something that he used to say or do. It's strictly psychological, it's a way of forming a team and breaking down the barriers. Equally, that was how I bonded with my best friend's fiance - the three of us are best friends now! My step mom and me tease my dad as well.

Haha. Yes, I have used this technique myself in the beginning and it worked like a dream. That said, nowadays I use it sparingly (if at all) because Zakem doesn't like it and I can't say I blame him. Not to mention I'm sure his kids hear enough "dad bashing" at home from their mother. :rolleyes:

Nasmah, I think it's sweet that you're so worried, but it sounds like this little girl already likes you so you have nothing to worry about. In fact, Morgan is probably more freaked out about the three weeks than YOU are! :D

Just be yourself and focus on doing fun things with her. Like GF said, let Gunner be the "bad cop" and do all the disciplining. ;)

Maria, I think your plan is a good one. It's totally natural to feel worried and anxious. It shows you care.

While I think many as children had a really tough time adjusting to step parents, I believe there are many others that adore their step parents. You're a kind and compassionate person. You're not exhibiting any jealousy or resentment towards his daughter. You simply want the two of you to find a common ground and be friends.

It sounds like you two are already friendly. Plan activities, be goofy, be real, let Eric enforce bed time, and it will all fall into place. There are tons of daughters out there that adore their step mothers.;) :)


Could not have said it any better than that. I have a feeling she's going to love you, Maria. Like the others said, it seems impossible not to like you. :hug:

Lol Eric tells me i am always picking on him :D in a funny way that is, so maybe that's a good idea!

I am not really worried about she thinking i was the reason her parents divorced, or that her dad had to move. She understands that much, i was just more worried about liking each other and getting along good. I have been thinking it should be fine. 3 weeks should be enough to break the ice and get closer, and at the same time i want them to have their own time as well, because that is all she is used to (both being together) and i do not want her to feel strange in the relationship with her dad and all of a sudden being three for everything.

But...i am not that scared anymore!We bought the tickets today :) I wonder also if i will see the ex, which i am extremely curious about, just in a nosy way :D


Hi Nasmah,
Speaking from experience of having my first visit with a my SO's son. It went better than I expected and all of my worrying was for nothing. You are an extremely sweet person and the daughter is just going to love you to death. Just be you and you will be just fine.

Thanks for all the replies (and the nice comments...ahh how little you know me :evil: :p ), I will let you know how everything goes next week! :)

Hopefully good :D

GOOD LUCK with everything!!!
I'm sure you'll be great!!!
Remember her dad loves you, we love you and she will love you!!!

What's not to love? :hmm: Nothing that I can think of! :love:

Well the day is here :) Maria and I are leaving for the airport soon. We will be picking up my daughter early evening. We fly back home on Sunday. I know she is nervous about meeting her. I keep telling her everything is going to be ok. I'm a little nervous myself though. But she also meets my Dad and ex today LOL So she must be quite the bundle of nerves.

We have things in our head to do while my daughter is here but no set plans.. I have 3 weeks off so we can pick good weather days etc.. I think it will be a wonderful time for the three of us and for Maria and Morgan to bond some. I hope she already hasnt grown out of the cute silly little things we do in the past 6 months.

We'll keep you updated on the visit!!!

Awwww! It's going to be great! You guys will have a wonderful time! You're a good father and Maria is the sweetest woman in the whole world. Nothing could possibly go wrong....

Just relax and have fun.....

Have a good time! :D

Have a great time, all of you! I hope you get great weather. Take lots of pics for us!!!

Good luck!

Please post pics. :)