My guy is having dinner with his ex-wife

.

Of course you can be jealous!! It's a natural, human emotion, that unfortunately we have no control over.

I understand your feelings. My boyfriend just had to go over to his ex's house to pick up some mail -- he was there for a half an hour and I am sitting here in tears waiting for him to call. I hate jealousy...it makes you feel terrible...and you must feel totally helpless, being half a world away.

I would trust your man though...it ended for a reason, and I'm sure there's nothing going on. As far as asking for a ride...I'm not really sure what to say there. It would have been nice if he had asked someone else, but...does he have anyone else to do it?

lj

Well, to be devil's advocate, hon, there are ALWAYS two sides to every story. And it is a really good thing he is still friends with his ex-wife. Trust me. It's best for the child... and even if you don't think she loves her daughter, wanting to be near her and being willing to relocate says a lot towards her loving her child than not. No one is perfect.

But yeah, you're definitely entitled to your jealousy and the distance doesn't help matters. I do hope you will soften in your loathing for someone you've never even really met? Point is, if you are to be a part of his life in the future, and his daughters, SHE will be a part of your life, too, and you will need to find a way to appreciate what she DOES do right.

Of course, I'm speaking as an ex-wife, here, too. My son's Dad is one of my best friends and we get along great. Two of his girlfriends over the last 8 years have been polar opposites. One reached out to me and became my friend and for her, I will forever be grateful. The other decided to hate me based on absolutely NOTHING and drove herself into ex-girlfriend-dom by being hateful... it wasn't necessary. As much of a screw-up my ex-husband is (and he is a major screwup) he loves his son and I'd smack anyone who said otherwise. In fact, it would be very difficult for me to be with someone who resented and or hated my first ex... as it's simply not warranted. My second ex? Well, that's another story... LOL.

Hope you both hear from your guys soon and all is well. ;)
~phos

1. Jealous is normal.

That being said it is however an emotion ROOTED in INSECURITY.

He has a child with her. He will always be tied to her in some way due to the child.


as an aside.. I live in baltimore so if he's here, when you join him, we can have lunch.

:eek: Hey! Count me in! Weekend girls shopping trip?? :D I'd drive up to Baltimore for that... hey, maybe we could all go see your hairdresser, French! *bats eyes* Ya in Nasmah? Let us know when ya get here, k? LOL
~phos

Well, maybe things will change when you actually meet her and have to deal with her on a more regular basis ~ as in, you and your man being together and not LDR. ;) Maybe not, too. I know my LAST ex-husband was a trainwreck... and its very difficult to find likeable qualities about him, but that doesn't mean we all don't have to deal with him all the same. :D

Take care, hon. We'd LOVE to hang out with you when ya get here, so drop a line... LOL!!!
~phos

Thank you gals,i would love to meet you if i had the chance :)

then if i stayed i would leave my life here...and would need an american momma so i am hoping nessa would adopt meh :eek: :D

/hugs

can you do jewish cooking?

of course I'd adopt you.


and yeah the distance does make it harder.

no i cant but i guess i could learn, since i would have plenty of spare time heh

oh i had a jewish friend there in France that cooked a kind of bread (whose name i cannot recall) i loved...(i ate it with chocolate and he was like :eek: ) if only i could remember how he made it...!

gn ladies ;)

no i meant can you eat it? I cook it.


the bread is probably Challah or egg bread. was it braided?

mine is rich and sweet and more cake than bread like.

oh Maria, siento mucho por lo que estas pasando! But don't worry you'll see you bf in 48 days!
Besitos

You can ALWAYS be jealous.

Whether you SHOULD be jealous... that's different. If he wanted to be with her, then you SHOULD be jealous. But you also chose a manwith an ex-wife, and therefore you will always have to deal with that.

I am easily jealous, but I also usually know when I SHOULDN'T be jealous, even if I am. I know I don't have anything to worry about.

no i meant can you eat it? I cook it.


the bread is probably Challah or egg bread. was it braided?

mine is rich and sweet and more cake than bread like.

lol i eat anything,proof of that my butt is :D

and yay i am happy now,he said dinner was short they talked about holidays but not about when he moves to baltimore (which they should),i told him i was afarid he was going to say he was going back with the ex or something and he just said: good god...silly thing,i am in love you.

then i was not jealous anymore,cause i love to hear him saying that (and do believe him that is).I thank he bothers to call and say it anyway :D

Jealous is my middle name! :D

Jealous is my middle name! :D


Awww yah! We should start a club!

My guy's a good sport about it though.

I'd be sooo jealous if my man ever came in contact with other women...but he really doesn't...so I don't have to worry about it.

The only woman he really sees all day is the secretary at his office...and she's older and married.

Doesn't stop me from checking his email though. *grin*

Nadine.

*joining the green streak club*

i used to "loose" it when husband was still in the netherlands and was doing things with/visiting ex wife...didn't matter that she was in another relationship and they were all just friends and they have a son together.

its the proverbial "mile wide"

i really have no problem if my husband wanted to see his old girlfriend or wife if he had an ex-wife. my husband has helped his old girlfriend move, taken her to social services and the store before and it doesn't bother me at all she's also 250 pounds now and pretty pitiful and he did catch her years ago when they were going out in bed with his best friend so i don't think i have anything to worry about and he has it pretty good with me and he loves me.

Once again, this thread is NOT ABOUT YOU! Be freakin' considerate, would ya?!?!?!?

THE ORIGINAL POSTER EVEN DELETED HER ORIGINAL POSTS!!!!

You'd think that would be a hint!!!

But NO...someone is so worried about telling the world all about her...that she doesn't give a shit about anyone else.

Nadine.

i really have no problem if my husband wanted to see his old girlfriend or wife if he had an ex-wife. my husband has helped his old girlfriend move, taken her to social services and the store before and it doesn't bother me at all she's also 250 pounds now and pretty pitiful and he did catch her years ago when they were going out in bed with his best friend so i don't think i have anything to worry about and he has it pretty good with me and he loves me.


it's all about you and your perfectness.


let me tell you about this 250 pound woman. I am more woman than you will ever be and if I wanted YOUR man (which I don't) I'd have him.

if you look at the previous answers b4 me they are all in the "I" content so why shouldn't i say what "I" would think get a life stop being so insecure more woman than me sure- right, get off my cloud bunch of jerks I've had my say now if you're going to bug me i can just move on to another thread. bye in the wind

if you look at the previous answers b4 me they are all in the "I" content so why shouldn't i say what "I" would think get a life stop being so insecure get off my cloud bunch of jerks


actually honey i am the LEAST insecure person here. in addition the last post on this thread was FOUR MONTHS ago who the fuck cares about your needs now.

leave the OLD posts alone.

if you wanna start a thread called ALL ABOUT ESH go for it.

but this dragging up OLD threads to tell us about your self is getting tiresome.

we've told you over and over do you listen and not comprehend? or is it that you don't care? or perhaps you LIKE all the negative attention?

if you look at the previous answers b4 me they are all in the "I" content so why shouldn't i say what "I" would think get a life stop being so insecure more woman than me sure- right, get off my cloud bunch of jerks I've had my say now if you're going to bug me i can just move on to another thread. bye in the wind

It is YOU who should get off OUR cloud....
Why do you even stay here if you think we're all "jerks"?? :rolleyes:

And if the regular membership here is all "jerks" WHY ARE YOU HERE? Are you that bored and lonely that you have nothing better to do with your wonderful life? It's pathetic. And tiresome.

~phos

no just let me answer the threads and stop commenting so negatively. i don't understand how other people can talk about themselves so much and say i, i, i, and about their lives and what they do and say and want but nooooooooo when it comes to me i get all of this flack. there's something wrong with people who single out one person to bother like that to pcik on it's called bullying. And what if i go back to old threads if the threads weren't meant to go back to WHY are they left there so other people who jsut come on will answer them? Like i said I'm a Q&A junkie I love to answer questions what's wrong with that? I don't mean everyone is a JERK just the ones who are hassling me and a few other choice words I won't repeat online. Another thing why do you answer the old threads too you're doing the same thing.It's only a few of you that r like this i do chose to ignore you. .

;) on a lighter side...ENJOy:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq-2Gd27rnc&search=%20%20toby%20keith

;) on a lighter side...ENJOy:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq-2Gd27rnc&search=%20%20toby%20keith

That's GREAT!!! I love it....lol!

glad YOU liked it Trish,thought it was appropriate ;) plus I like Toby's lips...he's kind of like the Angelina of guys in the lips department(to ME anyway):)

no just let me answer the threads and stop commenting so negatively. i don't understand how other people can talk about themselves so much and say i, i, i, and about their lives and what they do and say and want but nooooooooo when it comes to me i get all of this flack. there's something wrong with people who single out one person to bother like that to pcik on it's called bullying. And what if i go back to old threads if the threads weren't meant to go back to WHY are they left there so other people who jsut come on will answer them? Like i said I'm a Q&A junkie I love to answer questions what's wrong with that? I don't mean everyone is a JERK just the ones who are hassling me and a few other choice words I won't repeat online. Another thing why do you answer the old threads too you're doing the same thing.It's only a few of you that r like this i do chose to ignore you. .
It's the fact that you didn't even read the original thread...you just started talking about you!! And if you're going to talk about you, make a new thread. But don't drag up some OLD ass thread to talk about you, when the thread was about that persons personal problem. It wasn't about the whole community talking about their SO's and exes....it was about THEIR problem and you totally disregarded it by talking about YOU. :rolleyes:

Exactly Elle.Jay...EXACTLY!

ESH....if YOU look at the previous responses....You'll see that this thread isn't about us...it's about the original poster.

If you wanna do question and answer...get a freakin myspace account and fill out those damn ass surveys to your hearts content.

For the love of all that is good...stop spamming us with all your info!!!

Nadine.

Alrighty, I'm going to step into the ESH fray here....

ESH, this is how I see it: yes, most of the posts you see here are "I blah blah blah...." but they are not necessarily all about us. You see, we have taken the time to get to know each other, so when we do tell stories about ourselves, it is in relation to the others, and usually has something to offer to the person that started the thread.

So, yes, most of us here DO take offense to your self-professed addiction to Q&As, because we don't see this site that way. So, what appears to you as a place to randomly answer questions about yourself, is actually a place for friends to hang out and chat. It would be similar to you walking into a party where a bunch of friends are hanging out and chatting about different things and you just interrupt and start talking about yourself, when no one even knows you.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it just seems like you don't quite understand the dynamic that we have here...and I really hate to see this constant battle between what you see this site as and what others see it as. I hope this makes sense and you can see where we are coming from.

you guys know what is funny?

i talked to bfs ex-wife today cause she did not know he started working today, of course she did not say much to me except to tell him to call her back, but she was very polite and kind :D

oh yeah these posts were deleted cause i thought it was really stupid of me being jealous about the wife, but thanks for the reminder :p

really i can get used to ESH bumping threads that are not support ones, but support ones are for a especific person in a puctual situation and there is no point in bumping them to add info about you.Cause believe me, after 3, 6, or 8 months the situation may have changed a lot, or they would still be on the first page, since people around here are actually supportive and not mere random posters.

Alrighty, I'm going to step into the ESH fray here....

ESH, this is how I see it: yes, most of the posts you see here are "I blah blah blah...." but they are not necessarily all about us. You see, we have taken the time to get to know each other, so when we do tell stories about ourselves, it is in relation to the others, and usually has something to offer to the person that started the thread.

So, yes, most of us here DO take offense to your self-professed addiction to Q&As, because we don't see this site that way. So, what appears to you as a place to randomly answer questions about yourself, is actually a place for friends to hang out and chat. It would be similar to you walking into a party where a bunch of friends are hanging out and chatting about different things and you just interrupt and start talking about yourself, when no one even knows you.

I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it just seems like you don't quite understand the dynamic that we have here...and I really hate to see this constant battle between what you see this site as and what others see it as. I hope this makes sense and you can see where we are coming from.
Great post Annie, and it makes PERFECT sense, but she doesn't read what we have to say to her. I think she totally ignores everyone that doesn't think she is fabulous. We've mentioned ALL these things to her countless times and she just doesn't seem to care that she irks us ALL. :rolleyes:

Great post Annie, and it makes PERFECT sense, but she doesn't read what we have to say to her. I think she totally ignores everyone that doesn't think she is fabulous. We've mentioned ALL these things to her countless times and she just doesn't seem to care that she irks us ALL. :rolleyes:
Well, the posting does seem to have slowed down alittle the last few days. Maybe she actually has heard alittle of it. Either that or she found a forum that is just in awe of her, so she can post about her fabulous life to her heart's content.

got it annie at least you have the brains to explain it to me in laymans terms and without neing such a bitch i got it now thank you

Are you freakin kidding me?

How many times do we have to explain it to you as simple as possible???!!!

Nadine.

You didn't GET IT BEFORE?!?!?!?

got it annie at least you have the brains to explain it to me in laymans terms and without neing such a bitch i got it now thank you


what a nice way to insult everyone else who's tried to help you fit in.

I agree that Annie is one smart cookie....in fact, she's an absolute doll! :)

C'mon people.....we all know the rest of us don't have any brains.... :D :p ;)

Annie is a smart cookie. *grin*

Nadine.

Hehe....:o :o


I'm speechless...lol.

Trish, you're wrong there hon. I'm not particularly smart...I've just worked in science and government a loooong time. I know how to make things REAAAAAAAAAL simple so bureaucrats can understand :p . :D

Hehe....:o :o


I'm speechless...lol.

Trish, you're wrong there hon. I'm not particularly smart...I've just worked in science and government a loooong time. I know how to make things REAAAAAAAAAL simple so bureaucrats can understand :p . :D

Oh, yes you are smart and beautiful too! :p ;)