Everything happens for a reason?

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Yes, I definitely believe everything happens for a reason. This is why there's really no such thing as a "mistake".

I think everything does happen for a reason.


there is only ONE thing I regret in life and that's my second marriage. WE call it the second disaster. even my kids refer to their ex step dad that way


(yes that's right you young'ns brian is my THIRD husband)....

had i not met my first husband i would not have my boys
had i not divorced him i would not have the job i have now and i would not be financially sound.
had i not met and married and divorced the second disaster and taken such a long time to be ready to date again i would not have met brian when I did...


meeting younger men led me to ageless, getting to ageless led me to all of you.

had i not met my first husband i would not have my boys
had i not divorced him i would not have the job i have now and i would not be financially sound.
had i not met and married and divorced the second disaster and taken such a long time to be ready to date again i would not have met brian when I did...


meeting younger men led me to ageless, getting to ageless led me to all of you.

Everything is amazingly connected, isn't it?

If I hadn't met my theory prof who I had a crush on, I never would have went out to Indiana for school (he was from there).
If I hadn't met my best friend Jason, I never would have stayed in Indiana and gone to Ball State for my doctorate.
If I hadn't gone to Ball State, I wouldn't have met the horrible ex.
If I hadn't met the horrible ex, I wouldn't have met my wonderful boyfriend.
And of course, meeting him, led me here. :)

~Crysania

Ahhh.. the chain events of life! :eek: Yep, everything happens for a reason.

If I hadn't gone home for Christmas in 1994 and let my brother drag me out to an old bar he worked at, I never would have broke up with my ex-boyfriend in college (on/off for 6 years, great guy, but no chemistry and he never wanted kids) and accidentally met and gotten pregnant by my son's Dad a month later. :eek:

I hadn't gotten pregnant by my son's Dad, I never would have moved back home. EVER. I would have gone off to California to work with my sister. Therefore, I wouldn't have my son.

If he hadn't cheated on me, we would still be miserably married. I would have never left him.

If I had JUST opted not to return the phone call from my old HS sweetheart when I was back living with my folks after marriage #1 was over, because he was in town and "curious" how I was, I would have never had marriage #2! :eek: And while that SUCKED (see Nessa's comments about her #2, mine aren't very different... ), I would not have my lovely baby girl ~ who I ADORE.

AND, I would never have met Litical.

As that marriage wound down and burnt out, Litical and I were becoming good friends and he was a big support/shoulder to cry on while all that dissolved. After hubby #2 dumped me, he asked me out ~ and damn, I wasn't expecting it.

So... I could have had an abortion back in 1995 or not gone home for Christmas and I might very well still be single and childless living in California with a great career, but an empty heart.

I wouldn't trade in a day of the derailments, frustrations, agonies or hurts I've experienced to get where I am now. ;)

~phos

I totally agree, and it would take me an hour to write out the chain of events that were needed in order for me to meet and consider dating my BF. Each and every "mistake" was necessary for me to be where I am now, and I am soooooo grateful. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world sometimes.

Yup, everything happens for a reason . . . even if you can't pinpoint the reason. If nothing else, everything is a learning experience. :)

Hey Crysania, you'll appreciate this because you're a fellow musician. For my law school personal statement, I talked about the exact same thing--basically how there are no "mistakes" in life because life is, as Phossy put it, a "chain of events", each one leading up to the next. Here's an excerpt:

It is a well-known axiom that there are no wrong notes in jazz. In fact, the great Miles Davis once said that it’s not the note you play that’s wrong – it’s the note you choose to play afterward that makes it “right” or “wrong.” Whenever Miles played a note that didn’t sound right, instead of ignoring it or trying to gloss over it, he would take that note and somehow weave it into the overall tapestry of the composition. He might repeat the note, or move a half step up or down and then go back to the note, or do a creative combination of the two, until the note became so organically intertwined with everything that came before and after it that the audience would be convinced that he had meant to play that note all along. By giving shape and meaning to this so-called “wrong note,” he managed to transform it into an integral part of the music itself. Like Miles, I’ve decided to embrace my own “wrong notes.” Life does not have to be so pure, and when there’s a misstep, it is the next step I take that truly defines me.

I most definitely believe this. My girlfriend was dating this guy David, for almost 2 years and he was just a bad boyfriend. He wasn't abusive or anything, he just sucked at being a boyfriend.

So she was working at this restaurant for about a year and this guy had just started. She really liked him, and they flirted for awhile. After a few weeks, they made out at work. (Yes, she cheated on David, but THANK GOD she did!!)

She ended up leaving David and hooking up with Brandon. They had only been together for about three weeks when her sisters wedding came around. She was the maid of honor. (I was a bridesmaid, BTW!)

At the wedding, the groom's best man, (his brother Cody) was there, and because Brandon had to work, he wasn't able to be there, and she hooked up with the best man a few days after the wedding. (The night of the wedding, the best man hooked up with the OTHER bridesmaid..LOL!!) (By the way, this Brandon guy was a total asshole, so I'm glad she dumped him!!)

Now my girlfriend and the best man are going to get married.

Its total fate.
lj

Man, I just have to do this. It may take me two hours to do this, but it's too good to pass up.

If I had never married my ex-husband I wouldn't have my two beautiful girls.

If I had never married my ex-husband I would not have gone back to college to get my teaching credentials, which is when I decided that I didn't want to teach business, but I wanted to teach biology.

If I hadn't of gone back to college for biology then I would have never met Franklin who introduced me to a Fantasy series called "Wheel of Time."

If I had not gotten so absorbed with this series I would have never sought out information online regarding it, which eventually led me to roleplaying in this community.

If not for my interest in biology I would have never designed my character's storyline as I did and I would have never placed a "Wanted" Ad for a TPC to work with my storyline.

If I had not placed that "Wanted" Ad, I would have never met Adam, my YM.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, that doesn't even include Adam's path to me, which involved being on exchange in Denmark (from Australia) with insomnia and next to zero understanding of the native language.

To be honest, it all seems astronomical sometimes.:)

Shan

Absolutely!!!! Everything happens for a reason and everything always works out exactly as it should. If it hasn't, it's not over yet....if that makes any sense. lol!

Over and over and over in my life, when I've had trials and tribulations, it's always worked out for the best. I've learned something I needed to learn and I've been led to a better, in some cases wonderful, situation.

I think it's all a matter of having faith (not necessarily in God...but maybe in some sort of higher power, or the cosmos....or maybe in ourselves, most of all).

I'll admit that when I'm in the middle of a crisis or a very bad situation, I don't always remember that it's going to work out, and that I'm going to end up in a better place. That's something I have to constantly work on. And there are times when I feel like one more tough time or lesson and I'm DONE!!! I find myself bargaining with God (I'm one of those people who does believe in Him).

Things don't always happen on our time schedule and they don't always happen the way we think we want them to. But I've ALWAYS found that eventually they happen the way they are meant to be. And when I realize that it makes me humble and it makes me happy. Things happen for a reason and in my life it's ALWAYS been for a better one.

By the way, Crysania, I love Irish music (I was born on St. Patrick's Day!). I love traditional Irish music and I love some of the contemporary stuff. Have you ever heard of a band called Seven Nations? They're awesome!!

Wow! I was just reading all your posts and all the chains of events....it's so incredible and amazing to see how it all goes....

Mine would probably start when I was nine-years-old and my mother was killed in a car accident.....that totally changed my life, where it would go, choices I would make.....

Lots happened in between but it led me to my daughter's father, who owned a convenience store in Rochester, NY and was shot-to-death during a robbery in 1991....which was one of the most painful things that's ever happened in my life.....which led me to go back to school...which led me to meet a guy I developed feelings for....which made me realize I could fall in love again....which led me to Minneapolis where I had my heart broken....which led all my family and friends (including all my friends at Ageless) to rally around me for support....which gave me strength to try dating again....which led me to this 32-year-old guy (I never thought I'd consider someone younger, so I learned a valuable lesson from him even though it didn't work out to be more than friends)....which led me back to Ageless (I'd left for awhile).....which led me to other things.....which led me here.....hmmmm....I wonder where it's all going next??

By the way, Crysania, I love Irish music (I was born on St. Patrick's Day!). I love traditional Irish music and I love some of the contemporary stuff. Have you ever heard of a band called Seven Nations? They're awesome!!

I've heard a little bit by them but not enough unfortunately! I'll have to remember to check them out some more when I get a chance. I'm mostly into the really traditional stuff, especially fiddle music (i.e. Liz Carroll, Tommy Peoples, etc.) and flute music (especially Seamus Egan, Laurence Nugent, and Kevin Crawford). Plus there are some great bands around, like Solas and Lunasa.

Can you tell I listen to too much of this stuff? I own some 120-130 recordings of it.

And even better, I'm going to Ireland in June. I can't wait!!

~Crysania

I've heard a little bit by them but not enough unfortunately! I'll have to remember to check them out some more when I get a chance. I'm mostly into the really traditional stuff, especially fiddle music (i.e. Liz Carroll, Tommy Peoples, etc.) and flute music (especially Seamus Egan, Laurence Nugent, and Kevin Crawford). Plus there are some great bands around, like Solas and Lunasa.

Can you tell I listen to too much of this stuff? I own some 120-130 recordings of it.

And even better, I'm going to Ireland in June. I can't wait!!

~Crysania

My dream is to go to Ireland someday....and France (my great-grandmother was born in Paris).....

I'm going to look for some of the artists you've mentioned. Here in Newport, Irish Heritage Month starts on March 1. We have a sister city...Kinsale. There's a big St. Patrick's Day parade the weekend before the 17th. We also have a wonderful Irish Festival the first weekend in September.

wow it is amazing reading your stories!

yes i am convinced everything happens for a reason,all our actions lead us to what we are and what we have,in bad times i think it is something we have to go through in oder to live something better.(i know it is a stupid thought for many people,well i am just optimistic)

i met eric in a game i started playing because of my then bf,he was an awesome person who led me to another wonderful person,in between,living on my own in France,which made me grow up and was a very important thing in my personal development,and that,at the same time made things work between us now,what did not happen before (and i had known him for a long time).

sigh...life is good...and if it is not now it is for a reason,so you all having a bad time,trust something good is to come! :)

My dream is to go to Ireland someday....and France (my great-grandmother was born in Paris).....

I'm going to look for some of the artists you've mentioned. Here in Newport, Irish Heritage Month starts on March 1. We have a sister city...Kinsale. There's a big St. Patrick's Day parade the weekend before the 17th. We also have a wonderful Irish Festival the first weekend in September.

I can't wait to go to Ireland - I've always wanted to. My other big dream is to go to Scotland (a good portion of my family is from there) and Paris (I AM a crazy Phantom of the Opera fan after all!)...someday...*sigh*

That sounds lovely there - we have a parade here. This area is heavily Irish, so there's a lot going on this time of the year with Irish heritage and music. We have an Irish fest here in September too - we got a chance to play at it last year...hoping to again this year!

~Crysania

Here in Newport

Hey, you're in Newport? I was there last summer for the Jazz Festival. I love it!

Mine would probably start when I was nine-years-old and my mother was killed in a car accident.....that totally changed my life, where it would go, choices I would make.....

Lots happened in between but it led me to my daughter's father, who owned a convenience store in Rochester, NY and was shot-to-death during a robbery in 1991....which was one of the most painful things that's ever happened in my life.....which led me to go back to school...which led me to meet a guy I developed feelings for....which made me realize I could fall in love again....

(((((((((hug))))))))))

Your story just brought me to tears. amazing how there can be so much beauty from so much pain.

Hey, you're in Newport? I was there last summer for the Jazz Festival. I love it!

Are you coming this year??!!

Are you coming this year??!!

I wasn't planning on it but now that I know you're a stone's throw away, I might have to change my summer plans! :D

(((((((((hug))))))))))

Your story just brought me to tears. amazing how there can be so much beauty from so much pain.

Thank you, Moon....

My whole point was that if we have a little faith, somehow, everything always works out.....maybe if I can be an example of that, the sadness I've experienced in my life can help someone else....I get lots of strength and inspiration from others. I'm very grateful for that.

My whole point was that if we have a little faith, somehow, everything always works out.....maybe

I think it works out the way it's supposed to whether we have faith or not . . . but sometimes we need "faith" (for lack of a better word) to help us to understand that it worked out and to help us learn from it so that we can grow.

That's just my own personal belief. :)

I think it works out the way it's supposed to whether we have faith or not . . . but sometimes we need "faith" (for lack of a better word) to help us to understand that it worked out and to help us learn from it so that we can grow.

That's just my own personal belief. :)

Yes, I agree....I think it's our faith (whether it's in God, a higher power, the universe, or ourselves) that gets us through a tough time. Then we go on to learn and grow, and find something better.

I wasn't planning on it but now that I know you're a stone's throw away, I might have to change my summer plans! :D

Yes!!! I'm not sure when it is....and believe it or not I've never gone and I'm a big jazz fan!!