Irritated.......

So a few weeks ago Cindy came up with this ideal that she wants a dog, all of a sudden. Now mind you we have a total of 4 cats who all dislike each other in some form accept my 2 who where raised together. Now she went on and on about how she wasnt going to make a decision with out us because of the baby and making sure it was a good breed and so on... Well apparently she has found the perfect puppy and wants to go pick it up tonight. I said that a dog would be nice but we have too many animals as it is as well as a new born on the way.

I frankly dont want a dog at the moment for several reasons, 1) we are already above city limits for the amount of animals that we currently have. 2) When shes at work I am the one who defaults to caring for the animal which in a few weeks will not be able to handle that kind of responsibility. Which includes training, I cannot take that on with a baby to care for as well. Not going to happen.... 3) 10 bucks says she will not follow through with training get board and will wind up being a dog in the back yard that behaves badly due to no attention.

I am irritated at the fact that she went on about consulting us cause we live here too and have a baby on the way but she never once consulted me besides asking me what I thought about having a dog. She told Jeff about this dog she was thinking about and then asks him if we all wanted to go see it. Now shes asking me if I want to come and pick it up? WTF!??! Since when was it decided that we where getting a dog? Jeff says hes going to talk to her but well we might still get a dog..... :livid:

Yikes. This has got to be the worst time to get a new puppy. You are 3 weeks away from full term! :eek:

How are you feelings, by the way?

Yikes. This has got to be the worst time to get a new puppy. You are 3 weeks away from full term! :eek:

How are you feelings, by the way?

UGH! is UGH! a word? Im having so many "common pregnancy pain" its unreal. My feet and ankles still swell along with my hands a bit this numb tingly feeling has spread from my left hand to my right and dosnt go away. (due to the swelling around the nerves) I get mad heartburn, something I usually never got but has come around more times then I have cared for in the past few months. I cant stand for long periods of time my back starts aching and this past few weeks has gotten worse in the lower spine and hips and my sciatic nerves on one side and then the other, alternate days as to which would like to hamper my ability to do daily things. My braxon hicks have gone from feeling weird that my abdomen is tightening to uncomfortable. Which dosnt help when the baby is pushing out to make more room... As well as groin pain to boot.... All feels like I am having a really bad period some times.

Im so tired of hearing people tell stories as to how well there delivers went cause they did all sorts of exercise while they where pregnant. I would like to be one of these people too but I cant seem to get past the fact that I should be resting with my feet up to reduce swelling! UGH!

All apparently "Common Pregnancy Symptoms" During the last trimester. Good news is that despite all the hang ups that my body is taking Pregnancy is well, baby is fine and is already head down! :D :yay: Shouldn't be too long I think. I so am not waiting till the 12th of Sep! :eek:

Oh, yes you are! In fact you're waiting til the 13th which is Bryson's birthday!

Fuck the dog!!

~Jenna

The 13th is also my sisters birthday NO FRIGGEN WAY!

Hahaha. I remember my last few weeks being pretty damn bloated and uncomfortable with a ton of swelling, backache, etc. It won't be long now. :)

Enjoy the first few weeks of newborn-hood! I was stressed out beyond belief--like all new parents would be--but if I knew just how short newborn-hood lasts, I might have been able to tolerate the stress better.

Adding to that that my mother is complaining that I am setting the dates for her to come visit a month after my due date to give us all here a bit of time before people start visiting. Mind you, I am paying for her ticket and I sent money down so that she can get her passport card. :confused:

As far as I am concerned if she wants to come out sooner then she can pay for her own darn ticket.

Also Cindy now has a dog and Jeff has become dog police by reminding her to take care of it..... Great..... Think this might be getting back at us for having a baby..... LOL Dog is cute but was growling due to the new place and all. It hasnt had any of its shots and all I can say is that if for some reason has something that can be passed to my kitties I am going to be livid!

You have more patience than I do, Tony. It sounds like a chaotic situation. Dealing with a new pet and cats when you're pregnant... man. I'd freak out.

Do you and Brandoch have future plans for your own place after the baby is born or is this a situation you'll be in long term?

As for your mother... ignore it. It's up to you when you want to have visitors.

UGH indeed Rachel! You have a lot to deal with right now. Please try not to let Cindy's new dog stress you out. It's totally unfair of her to expect you to look after it while she's at work but it's more important that you not be stressed.

And don't be hard on yourself that you haven't been able to exercise as much as you'd want. Every pregnancy is different - what works for others isn't necessarily going to work for you (heh, so I hear!).

Geez, you need people to support you right now! Your mom will just have to deal, and so will Cindy!

Man...what a sucky situation! (((HUGS)))

Nadine.

Tony, I would stand your ground on the dog issue as much as you can. I have 4 pets living with me: 3 birds that are mine and my sister's guinea pig that I have been taking care of for the last 3 months while she tries to decide where she wants to live. Although the guinea pig is sweet, I don't have enough time to give it all the affection it needs (because I already have to make sure I play with my conure and give him enough stimulation to keep him happy). I feel soooooo guilty about not giving her a better life, and just keep wishing my sister would come take her soon, and shower her with much needed affection...

Ah Patience is a virtue? I do have a lot! Cindy left for like 20 min to pick Liam up from art camp while dog ran about the house. I had to police dog as to not eat the cat food and not attack cats, mind you this dog is still growling at me cause it dont really know me too. All I can say is it attacks anyone or one of the cats its GONE! Thankfully I grew up with enough animals to know there behaviors and how to handle them. I dont give a rats ass. If its going to be aggressive to anyone it will be aggressive to the baby and I wont fucking stand for that one bit. I will call the pound myself.....

Ah Patience is a virtue? I do have a lot! Cindy left for like 20 min to pick Liam up from art camp while dog ran about the house. I had to police dog as to not eat the cat food and not attack cats, mind you this dog is still growling at me cause it dont really know me too. All I can say is it attacks anyone or one of the cats its GONE! Thankfully I grew up with enough animals to know there behaviors and how to handle them. I dont give a rats ass. If its going to be aggressive to anyone it will be aggressive to the baby and I wont fucking stand for that one bit. I will call the pound myself.....

I'm confused. If both you and Brandoch didn't want the dog... why did she get one anyway? There seems to be a page missing from the story or something.

I'd be concerned that the dog is growling at you Rachel. A dog in a new home shouldn't be exhibiting dominance or aggression in my opinion. My aggressive dog doesn't even do that! I can see it happening later on, but not right away.

I'd be careful to make sure all 4 of you participate in discipline and training so that the dog knows its place at the bottom of the totem pole. Do you have a crate? That could help.

I'm confused. If both you and Brandoch didn't want the dog... why did she get one anyway? There seems to be a page missing from the story or something.
Im just as confused as you are. I was hoping Jeff would talk her out of it but, "her mind was made up" and she just dose stuff. Same thing happend just before I arrived here she adopted 2 cats knowing fully that I already had 2 cats and was coming with them...... :confused:

One cat got adopted by the neighbors and we still have the other one Rutu hes very irritating and never got the proper cat household training like not jumping on the counter and drinking water out of the bowl nope he wants it strait from the tap.....

I'd be concerned that the dog is growling at you Rachel. A dog in a new home shouldn't be exhibiting dominance or aggression in my opinion. My aggressive dog doesn't even do that! I can see it happening later on, but not right away.

I'd be careful to make sure all 4 of you participate in discipline and training so that the dog knows its place at the bottom of the totem pole. Do you have a crate? That could help.

I am worried that he is growling! Thankfully I grew up with enough animals to know how to put them in there place. I dont really think that this is a dog well suited for small animals and kids. I also think that it just might be that hes not nurtured yet and hes got that male dominance in him. He does just seem scared and a bit skit so, but at the same time growling. He seems to listen to me when I corrected him at not eating the cat food so. I dont know maybe he just needs to get to know me a bit more. Im not really worried about myself I can handle myself with the dog its Liam and down the line the baby I am worried about....

Im just as confused as you are. I was hoping Jeff would talk her out of it but, "her mind was made up" and she just dose stuff. Same thing happend just before I arrived here she adopted 2 cats knowing fully that I already had 2 cats and was coming with them...... :confused:



:confused:

How can she just do what she wants when you're all contributing to the household? She obviously doesn't have boundries in some regards.

I totally get your concern for the baby. It's also not a fair situation for the animals.

Not a good situation from where I sit. I hope it gets resolved very soon.

I may be out of line here and you can tell me as much, Tony, but do the three of you have a "special" relationship? If so, her getting the dog anyway makes a bit more sense. Again, I'm not trying to pry. And you can tell me to MYOB.

:confused:

How can she just do what she wants when you're all contributing to the household? She obviously doesn't have boundries in some regards.

I totally get your concern for the baby. It's also not a fair situation for the animals.

Not a good situation from where I sit. I hope it gets resolved very soon.

I may be out of line here and you can tell me as much, Tony, but do the three of you have a "special" relationship? If so, her getting the dog anyway makes a bit more sense. Again, I'm not trying to pry. And you can tell me to MYOB.

No. No "special" relationship..... at all. I am still very irritated at the fact that I was not involved with this "decision" I was told she sent an email last Tuesday or Thursday, funny oh I never got an email to give me plenty of warning?!?!?! Perhaps I am freaking out for no reason at all, and this dog will be great. Who knows, Im giving him some benefit of doubt but I will have my reserves.

No. No "special" relationship..... at all. I am still very irritated at the fact that I was not involved with this "decision" I was told she sent an email last Tuesday or Thursday, funny oh I never got an email to give me plenty of warning?!?!?! Perhaps I am freaking out for no reason at all, and this dog will be great. Who knows, Im giving him some benefit of doubt but I will have my reserves.

I don't know, Tony, if it were me I'd be pissed the hell off. :mad:

:confused:

How can she just do what she wants when you're all contributing to the household? She obviously doesn't have boundries in some regards.



She's doing it because she can and its her passive aggressive way of "lashing" out. No matter what she says or does, or whatever at the end of the day the house is HERS not Rachel's. That's what I think is going on.

The dog is there now. Not much you can do about it. I'd be getting a crate lickety quick! No ifs ands or buts about it.

~Jenna

She's doing it because she can and its her passive aggressive way of "lashing" out. No matter what she says or does, or whatever at the end of the day the house is HERS not Rachel's. That's what I think is going on.


~Jenna

Yeah, that's what it sounds like. If her name is on the mortgage and deed... I don't think there's a whole lot you can do, Tony. Brandoch needs to be having a looooong conversation with her.

You never answered my question. Do you and Brandoch have plans to get your own place sometime in the future?

The dog thankful came with a crate! And there are plans to get our own spaces next to each other like town houses but it looks like that might be a few years in the works. We still have to settle my status in Canada and then I can go about getting a job to contribute to the income then shortly after we can really look into getting the spaces that we want. Defiantly no "special" relationship going on, she has this thing for this guy in Texas that she games with all the time.

Dont let me rant about that cause if ya as me hes playing her. Hes still married and lives in this "huge" house and has 2 teen kids. On every opportunity that they have he has always come here to visit not once has she gone down to see him and his situation. She once was going to visit him but then that changed cause he couldnt afford a hotel while she was down there...... :confused: If you have such a "huge" house and have asked her to move down to Texas several times what was wrong with her visiting and staying in this so called "huge" house? I dont know and frankly I dont care.......

Rachel maybe the situation was working ok before, but it sounds very passive aggressive to just go and do something the other adults in the house dont want to happen, at a time they are undergoing immense changes. It sounds like maybe this is her way of saying fuck you. I know you say it works well for Liam, and so far there havent been too many issues, but maybe it is time to think of other solutions to the living situation. Obviously negotiation isnt an option, and Jeff doesnt sound able to stand up to her. Is that what happened in thier relationship, because that may be an established dynamic for them, where she makes the decisions and he complains but doesnt challenge. Who owns the house, is it in joint names. I thought you had a "special" relationship too from your previous posts. I hope you can sort it out and dont have to do anything drastic at this late stage.

My heart is with the poor dog, firstly in the pound, rescued then trying to cope with three adults, four cats, a child and tension.....I'd be growling. Maybe taking it for little walks would give you some exercise and allow you to give it some time away from the house and the cats, and to bond a bit with someone, at least, otherwise its going to find itself being punished which isnt really fair. I know its not your dog but its scared and doesnt have a place in the pecking order. I have no idea what a crate is but it sounds like a cage which sounds like the pound!

Rachel maybe the situation was working ok before, but it sounds very passive aggressive to just go and do something the other adults in the house dont want to happen, at a time they are undergoing immense changes. It sounds like maybe this is her way of saying fuck you. I know you say it works well for Liam, and so far there havent been too many issues, but maybe it is time to think of other solutions to the living situation. Obviously negotiation isnt an option, and Jeff doesnt sound able to stand up to her. Is that what happened in thier relationship, because that may be an established dynamic for them, where she makes the decisions and he complains but doesnt challenge. Who owns the house, is it in joint names. I thought you had a "special" relationship too from your previous posts. I hope you can sort it out and dont have to do anything drastic at this late stage.

My heart is with the poor dog, firstly in the pound, rescued then trying to cope with three adults, four cats, a child and tension.....I'd be growling. Maybe taking it for little walks would give you some exercise and allow you to give it some time away from the house and the cats, and to bond a bit with someone, at least, otherwise its going to find itself being punished which isnt really fair. I know its not your dog but its scared and doesnt have a place in the pecking order. I have no idea what a crate is but it sounds like a cage which sounds like the pound!

I agree with the above. It doesn't sound like it's working anymore. And Brandoch needs to get tough. You're his wife and a new baby is on the way.

The dog is just frightened and I don't blame it. Of course, you should be very concerned about Liam and your newborn. This dog needs some love and attention. It doesn't know what's going on and was thrown into a situation (like you).

Catscratch, some crates are pretty roomy, but yeah, it's a cage.

My heart is with the poor dog, firstly in the pound, rescued then trying to cope with three adults, four cats, a child and tension.....I'd be growling. Maybe taking it for little walks would give you some exercise and allow you to give it some time away from the house and the cats, and to bond a bit with someone, at least, otherwise its going to find itself being punished which isnt really fair. I know its not your dog but its scared and doesnt have a place in the pecking order. I have no idea what a crate is but it sounds like a cage which sounds like the pound!

The dog never came from the pound. It came from a family that had no time to train it she paid $200 bucks for it too and if ya ask me the thing is a mutt not that mutts are bad, mutts can be really great dogs. But I would not pay $200 for a mutt....

It has been some what trained it dose like its crate and a lot of dogs are trained that way, its where they sleep and put when they need to be out of the way.

The dog never came from the pound. It came from a family that had no time to train it she paid $200 bucks for it too and if ya ask me the thing is a mutt not that mutts are bad, mutts can be really great dogs. But I would not pay $200 for a mutt....

It has been some what trained it dose like its crate and a lot of dogs are trained that way, its where they sleep and put when they need to be out of the way.

She needs to quit getting pets. Bottom line.

I understand what you all are saying and truly for the most part this dose work but there are times that situations like this arise that irritates me, its like your roommate getting a pet that you cant handle and are forced to look after it when there not there... This is just one of the petty things I have to push aside till we can get my status taken care of and Jeff and I can be financially dependent on each other to move into our own spaces. I dont want to create any animosity between her and I, she is the mother of my husbands son as weird as that sounds! LOL

I understand what you all are saying and truly for the most part this dose work but there are times that situations like this arise that irritates me, its like your roommate getting a pet that you cant handle and are forced to look after it when there not there... This is just one of the petty things I have to push aside till we can get my status taken care of and Jeff and I can be financially dependent on each other to move into our own spaces. I dont want to create any animosity between her and I, she is the mother of my husbands son as weird as that sounds! LOL

I'm really not trying to stir the pot, but it is NOT a petty thing. It's another life you're being forced to look after. What happens if no one is home (except you) and the cats and dog get into a brawl and your newborn isn't far away?

On the flip side, if you're okay with the situation then I guess you have no choice but to accept things as they are. While I couldn't do it, only you know what's best for you and your family.

You know, after thinking about this for a bit, I think I can understand where she is coming from. Her need to get the dog, regardless of what they two of you said, could be related to your baby coming and her feeling like she needed something of her own - if that makes any sense.

I can imagine it's probably not easy for her to adjust to all the changes in the household and maybe getting animals is her way of coping? Not saying this is a good way, but that I can see why it might be happening.

For the dog's sake, I'm glad it is used to a crate and has a safe place where it can go if it is overwhelmed by the mayhem!

UGH! is UGH! a word? Im having so many "common pregnancy pain" its unreal. My feet and ankles still swell along with my hands a bit this numb tingly feeling has spread from my left hand to my right and dosnt go away. (due to the swelling around the nerves) I get mad heartburn, something I usually never got but has come around more times then I have cared for in the past few months. I cant stand for long periods of time my back starts aching and this past few weeks has gotten worse in the lower spine and hips and my sciatic nerves on one side and then the other, alternate days as to which would like to hamper my ability to do daily things. My braxon hicks have gone from feeling weird that my abdomen is tightening to uncomfortable. Which dosnt help when the baby is pushing out to make more room... As well as groin pain to boot.... All feels like I am having a really bad period some times.

Im so tired of hearing people tell stories as to how well there delivers went cause they did all sorts of exercise while they where pregnant. I would like to be one of these people too but I cant seem to get past the fact that I should be resting with my feet up to reduce swelling! UGH!

All apparently "Common Pregnancy Symptoms" During the last trimester. Good news is that despite all the hang ups that my body is taking Pregnancy is well, baby is fine and is already head down! :D :yay: Shouldn't be too long I think. I so am not waiting till the 12th of Sep! :eek:

:hug: Sorry you are feeling so uncomfortable. I know it sucks at this point in the pregnancy.

I didn't do much exercise during this last pregnancy and my delivery went just fine. Don't let the stories freak you out.

Good luck with the dog situation. I admire your self-restraint. I would have smacked her by now.

You know, after thinking about this for a bit, I think I can understand where she is coming from. Her need to get the dog, regardless of what they two of you said, could be related to your baby coming and her feeling like she needed something of her own - if that makes any sense.

I can imagine it's probably not easy for her to adjust to all the changes in the household and maybe getting animals is her way of coping? Not saying this is a good way, but that I can see why it might be happening.

For the dog's sake, I'm glad it is used to a crate and has a safe place where it can go if it is overwhelmed by the mayhem!

This is more along the lines of what Jeff is thinking, I still think its crazy but I can too kinda see it too...

Thank Ami! Im trying to do as much as I can all I can think of is, just a few more weeks.... :D And it will all be worth it! :D

ummmm...living with the ex wife/gf?????? strangest thing i've heard in a long time....

Rachel, I am sorry that you are going through this. Others have made good points, so there is not much to add. I just don`t understand what others meant by "special relationship"???

Rachel, I am sorry that you are going through this. Others have made good points, so there is not much to add. I just don`t understand what others meant by "special relationship"???

I think they meant a relationship between the three of them....kind of polygamy. That was my interpretation of "special relationship". Personally, I've never wondered if that's what it is. I've always figured it's a financial/convenience thing. Not one I would do either, so I give Rachel alot of credit for her patience and understanding. Obviously, she loves Jeff alot to be in a situation like that.

If Tom asked me to live with his ex, I'm not sure who I'd kill first.....her or him. :roflao:

I was also wondering what "special relationship" meant.

I think Jenna and Annie made a good point about the ex lashing out. I know that moving isn't an option for you in the near future but that is really the best solution.

When your baby comes, you'll barely have time to take care of yourself (e.g. sleep, shower, etc.), let alone 4 cats and a dog! :eek:

You ae not responsible for this dog in any way. She bought it, brought it home, and made a committment, not you. Don't deal with it. Tell her she will need to find a dog sitter when she is away because you are incapable of doing so with your baby. SHE needs to train it and look after it. I'm not saying to let it starve or anything but stand your ground. If she thinks she can get away with pawning it off on you, don' let her. Contact a dog sitter and make her foot the bill. If she won't, its time to find a new home. If she won't take her of her responsibilities, you shouldn't have to either. Liam is the only living responsibility you should ever have to share. You have a choice for the rest.

This is part of the reason I said in the thread below that living with an ex is a BAD idea! Yall thought I was crazy but look what's happening!! There are way too many emotions and such living in one house.

Nadine.

You know, after thinking about this for a bit, I think I can understand where she is coming from. Her need to get the dog, regardless of what they two of you said, could be related to your baby coming and her feeling like she needed something of her own - if that makes any sense.

I can imagine it's probably not easy for her to adjust to all the changes in the household and maybe getting animals is her way of coping? Not saying this is a good way, but that I can see why it might be happening.

For the dog's sake, I'm glad it is used to a crate and has a safe place where it can go if it is overwhelmed by the mayhem!

This is a fantastic post!!! No, matter the reason, and I suspect the Ex hasn't thought of it like that. She should have waited until the baby was there and everyone was settled.

I couldn't live in this situation. I make THE shittiest roomate ever and that's when I actually like and have a choice of who lives with me!!

~Jenna

I would prefer to at least make an attempt to befriend the dog I dont need it trying to attack me or the baby when it arrives. Today he seems to be doing much better he is really mindful of the cats and knows not to mess with them. He seems to want to play with them more than anything, then be aggressive. Kitty has already put him in his place as to not go near her, Tony goes from cat to fluff ball when he gets near him its kinda funny. He no longer growls at me and he even followed me around all morning, hes still not too sure about me but he has gotten more use to me and has been listing to me when I correct his behavior about not being on the furniture and staying out of the cat food. He seems to be very mindful of what humans think so thats good. He still tends to growl at Liam and seems to go into guard mode when he goes running up to Cindy when he has something to tell her or show her. So thats something that she needs to watch for.

Rachel, just a forewarning..... that dog is your dog. If you are the one to take care of it most of the time it will learn you are his master. Just the way it goes. The warning is, this will not make the Ex happy. She will see it too. There's not much you can do to avoid it either. You are the one home most of the time.

~Jenna

wait a minute...
y'all are LIVING with his EX????
What the hell???

Hey Rachel just wondering how you are going with the dog?

Hey Rachel just wondering how you are going with the dog?

Ok I suppose. I dont watch it when she leaves It has the run of her little area and it chewed up a bunch of things that I refused to clean up. He did however get into the storage area and bit of Chris Crinkles head for the Christmas tree. Guess we are using the Angel this year..... I was irritated the other day when I went out and didnt get back till late afternoon and found all the upstairs doors closed... My cat was locked in the computer room for god knows how long, why the fuck dose your dog get the run of the house while you are down in your room playing on the computer? Dog was obviously found jumping on the bed and doing various thing we dont want it doing.... ARGH